Since the new year, I have stepped up my game at the gym. I’m
up at 4:30am and in the gym by 5:00am. It’s the spin, the weights and machines,
and then into the pool for what I call my “House Laps” with my waterproof MP3 player and
then I hit the showers. I do this 5 days a week.
Swimming and color treated hair are an ever-changing experience.
No matter what size swim cap you wear, your hair is going to get wet. So, you need to condition and color your hair
more often if you are a swimmer that washes her hair every day. The color fades
fast. It costs $90 - $120 at the salon to have your hairdresser do this.
How do you color
your own hair when you live in a van full time and shower at a gym?
It’s too big a pain in ass to ask your friends if you can
use their shower every 4 weeks. Last night I very carefully applied the hair
color to my hair in the van while parked in the parking lot of my 24 hour gym.
I waited 45 minutes and then wrapped up my head in a Durag
and put a leopard print baseball cap on it and strutted my booty into the gym
like a Harlem rapper.
I was lucky enough to find a single private shower stall
that did not share a drain with the shower next door. I got undressed, flung my
clothes and the two clean towels over the tall shower door. There were about
three other ladies in the shower room at the time.
I unwrapped my head and turned on the hot shower and began
to rinse out the deep red auburn hair dye from my glorious soon to be
mane.Some got into my eyes and started
to sting, so I rinsed it out as fast as I could and then opened my eyes and
looked down at the tile floor.
It looked
like a murder scene. Dark red spatters, dripping down the walls, the door and
all over the place.
Alfred Hitchcock would have been proud.
It started to move out from under the shower door and into
the public hallway.Luckily, I was able
to stop it with one of the towels. I washed it all out, cleaned up the shower
stall well. I felt bad about that gym towel I dyed a nice dark pink color, but
it was better than hearing screams from the woman near by at the terrifying
sight of gallons of watered-down blood.
I got dried off and dressed, put the baseball cap back on
it, and strolled out of that gym bathroom like a Queen.
If you are a glamorous person with high standards of personal
hygiene, style, like to stay in shape and must always have fabulous hair...
I saw the Superhero fantasy action adventure Movie AQUAMAN last night and it blew my flippers off.There was one quote that stayed with me all night. It's the scene before Arthur goes to get the Trident...
Arthur: I’m not a king.
Mera: Atlantis has always had a king. Now it needs
something more.
Arthur: But what could be greater than a king?
Atlanna: A hero. A King thinks only of protecting his
kingdom and nation, a Hero thinks of protecting EVERYONE.
I feel like this, like I am a hero in my heart, for the spirit of all humanity.
I have lived a life as a hero of my own journey and have survived
to tell the tale and teach the lessons I have learned.
I went through the
first half of my life exploring what and why I was
here, and suffered much along the journey, but NEVER giving up hope, or
the fight in the pursuit of Truth of Reality of existence and why - searching
for the true Spark of Life, Love, Meaning and taking the long road to get here.
It's not like I know the secrets of the Universe or anything, but if I can help one person who has lost hope, feels trapped and or just can't get out of bed, I GOT SOME GOOD STUFF FOR Y'ALL. I have been there.
I am making it up as I go along just like the rest of you, but I did make it through the full journey with some seriously cool insights that seem to have allowed me to CHANGE MY STARS. I can't believe I am going to say this out loud but, I am grateful
to have gone through my past. It makes more sense now. It's always easier after the fact. I honestly can say I am more present and happy to be alive
than ever in maybe all of my lives.
Fight the good fight. Love yourself through it, that is the
only real way lasting change happens. Work smarter, hustle harder! I think he may be right..."Persistence and endurance will make you omnipotent.” –
Casey Neistat
The wisdom that you experience once you
have connected to yourself and find your true home within You, is hard to describe.
This is why I have the domain name Really Weird Stuff.com. Trying to describe what I have learned over the course of my
life is really weird.
"We run with those who search for the truth and avoid
those who claim they have found it." - Miguel Conner
I have gathered videos, lessons and have found other weirdo’s
who I think have a clue, and are deep in their own quests, and are putting out valuable content, that I do believe
will help you and Everyone alive along their journey. If I know anything it is that, everything is a story.
You are writing the story of You whether you
are aware of it right now or not. Over my life, I learned if I wanted to change my life for the better, I had to believe I could even when I didn't believe in myself. Sometimes that took "Acting as if I were already that," and then behaving every hour as if I was that. Modeling those who had the qualities, talents I admired. Within time, I BECAME THAT.
What part of your story are you in right now? You are not your heritage, your family, your lineage. You
are not your wounds, your scars, you are not what anyone has ever told you...you are.
YOU ARE WHAT YOU
DECIDE, EVERY NEW DAY.
"Write your own gospel and live your own myth, or
someone else will do that for you."
- Miguel Conner
2018 was one of the hardest, most profoundly meaningful and exciting years of my life so far...
I create my own Reality everyday, yet sometimes astrology and numerology seem way to accurate, so I try to keep an open mind with them so I may anticipate the best times to make huge moves on my life path (Timing can be Everything) and use the transits to assist me for pushing beyond my limitations.
Last year I was in my astrological "Saturn Square Saturn", this happens every 7 years. It was also a numerological Personal year of 9. A double whammy of ass kicking and harsh life lessons. AND IT WAS! It was a year of loss in everything that once brought me a sense of safety, joy, and security. Saturn will either kill you or refine you when he comes knocking. And knocking he did, all the way up and down the stairs, the walls, the floor and down in the dirt, over and over...
I lost a job with people I really cared about, my big beautiful home, I got rid of my big stuff, furniture, my huge epic BBQ Smoker, my Gnaughty Gnome Art Car...
I filed chapter 7 bankruptcy and let go of the old IRS debt that had been hanging over me for years...
I lost a little over 45 pounds of body fat and got rid of tons of old clothes...
And as a grand end of year finale, I got rid of the deep big stuff... I finally let go of the anger I had with my mother, and let her go. She passed away years ago... and I was finally able to let go of two of the most toxic once significant people of my life...
Yes, it hurt. It felt like some kind of cosmic hot metal was being pored over every part of me inside and out, burning away the wood, plastic, brick walls, iron doors, the fluffy bunny rainbows of bullshit, old excuses, the stories I used to tell myself, and all of the other old worn out structures I had built that were no longer Real, True or Strong Enough to support the Truth of who I am NOW, TODAY. What was forged of me is now precious metal, and I stand before you, ON FIRE, Golden and New.
When Saturn calls you to the front of the class, you better get up there, and be ready. If you aren't, you must stand up be accountable. You must prove what you are made of. I learned what I am made of and honestly, I kind of shocked myself.
I found the wisdom of the Task Master and his teachings. Saturn clears away the crap so you can build something real and strong for the long haul. I was kinda like Kung-Fu from the television series, but still got my ass handed to me a helluva lot in the process. Instead of judging myself for my failures, or feeling any shame, I accepted my faults and took responsibility for them.
I still was able to stand in front of him, with love in my heart for myself, with all of my flaws, humbled, and he kept testing me, pushing me harder and harder to see if I would crumble. I DID NOT. Not in a stubborn egotistic way, in a fully human open-hearted, non-judgmental, self accepting way.
I guess this is when you know you are no longer depressed. When the actual shit hits all your fans, and you can accept and know you will be okay, all by yourself. No freakout, panic, or residue butt-hurt.
When you can accept all of your fuck-ups and figure out how to make them right the best way you can, and then set a plan and stick to it and know you can count on yourself and at the end of the year you stand on the scale and have proof...
When you finally can stop trying to heal or fix the most fucked up people who you once that thought were the most important ones in your life, and honestly let them go, with peace in your heart...
When you can let go of all of the things or attachments you once had, and still feel whole...
THAT IS A GOOD DAY, AND A GOOD YEAR CONSIDERING YOU GOT A BUNCH OF NEW SCARS.
I am stronger than I thought. I am now lighter, quicker and free to move, pain-free on my feet. I have skills I didn't know I had before this year long life Grand Test. What I lost was nothing to what I have now gained. I think if I had balls, they would be really big and hairy, yet extremely well groomed. 😉
After letting it all go, healing, and redesigning my life, I am grateful for this experience. The freedom of letting go of all of the things that were holding me back is indescribable. The decisions I have made and are undertaking currently are perfect for this brand new year 2019.
It's like the smoke has cleared away and I can see. The legs I stand on today are stronger than ever. I will however, set off metal detectors at the airport with these new bionic knees - but who cares! I am more alive than ever in my life. The groundedness I am now in is powerful. The foundation I am building on now is strong, sound and more realistic and authentic than ever in my life.
I am building a new career and completley new life direction. My giggle is back!
I also feel extra awesome now that my transits have changed for the best in 12 years!
