December 26, 2011

Chemtrails 2011 Exposed - Small Documentary

People from the inside of the Chemtrail Program, "Project Cloverleaf" comes forward.

December 19, 2011

War Crimes Exposed By U.S. Army Ranger John Needham

U.S. Army Ranger John Needham, who was awarded two purple hearts and three medals for heroism, wrote to military authorities in 2007 reporting war crimes that he witnessed being committed by his own command and fellow soldiers in Al Doura, Iraq.

His charges were supported by atrocity photos which, in the public interest, are now released in this video. John paid a terrible price for his opposition to these acts. His story is tragic.

December 7, 2011

Pancho Ramos Stierle, You are an Inspiration!

I just read an inspiring GREAT article: http://www.dailygood.org/view.php?sid=127

If You Want To Be a Rebel, Be Kind
--by Nipun Mehta 
 
The police had declared Monday, November 14th of 2011 as the day of the raid on the Occupy Oakland encampment.  It was the first Occupy site to call for a general strike that shut down the fifth largest port in the country; it was also the first Occupy gathering to report a shooting and a murder, as police violence also reached new heights.  With tensions mounting amidst political chaos, police escalated their violent crackdowns and the narrative of fear.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars were spent in preparation for the raid, police from around the state were called in, and uncertainty filled the air.

The night before, Pancho Ramos Stierle heard about growing tensions in the community and thought, "If police are stepping up their violence, we need to go and step up our nonviolence."  So on that Monday morning at 3:30AM, Pancho and his housemate Adelaja went to the site of the Occupy Oakland raid.  With an upright back and half-lotus posture, they started meditating.  Many factions of protesters were around but the presence of strong meditators changed the vibe entirely.  Around 6:30AM, the police showed up in full force.  Full-out riot gear, pepper spray, rubber bullets, tear gas.  All media was present, expecting a headline story around this incredibly tense scene.  Instead, they found 32 people, all peaceful, with Pancho and Adeleja meditating with their eyes closed in the middle of the Plaza.  As the police followed their orders of arresting them, people took photos -- particularly of two smiling meditators surrounded by police looking like they're ready to go to war.  Within a day, that photo would spread to millions around the world, as Occupy Oakland raid ended without any reported violence.

One such experience can be enough for a lifetime.  For Pancho, though, this is just run of the mill.  In small ways and big, he is always looking to step up his compassion in the most unexpected places.

Raised in Mexico, Pancho was fascinated by the stars, planets, and galaxies.  He would always look up in outer space and admire the border-less cosmos that we inhabit; and he'd imagine looking down at Planet Earth from outer space -- and not seeing any lines across countries.  He envisioned a world of oneness and unity, and when he got a full scholarship to study the cosmos at University of California at Berkeley, his vision got a huge boost.  He moved to Berkeley to pursue his PhD in Astrophysics.

On campus one day, he serendipitously engages in a profound hallway conversation with a janitor.  It opens his eyes to the janitor's incredibly difficult life.  Something awakens in him, as he actively starts looking for solutions.  "I saw that instead of PhD’s, what the world needs more are PhDo's," Pancho recalls.

As time went on, Pancho realizes that his research supports an institution that actively proliferates nuclear weapons.  That tips him over the edge.  Not only did he stop cooperating with the university system, he starts raising a dissenting voice.

When his complains fall on deaf ears, he partakes in a nine-day fast with other students and professors across California to request an open dialogue with the UC Regents -- the governing body of the University of California.  The fast cultimates at a public hearing of the Regents.  When the student request is denied, they lock arms in nonviolent protest and sit peacefully. To disengage them, the police are ordered to make an example of one of them.  They lift up this man, slam him to the ground, put a knee on his neck, twist his arms behind his back and handcuff him ruthlessly.  Supporters start shouting at the overt show of inhumane behavior towards a fragile student who hadn't eaten a single morsel of food for nine days.  That man was none other than Pancho.

The story would end there, except that Pancho's strength resided beyond his body.  "It was excruciating pain," Pancho recalls.  Perhaps the police officer picked on Pancho because of his small and skinny frame, but the outer force is no match for Pancho's inner might.  The injustice is obvious, but Pancho knew that the officer is not to blame.  In a completely unrehearsed move of raw compassion, Pancho, with all the love in his heart, looks directly into the police officer’s eyes, and says, "Brother, I forgive you.  I am not doing this for me, I am not doing this for you.  I am doing it for your children and the children of your children."  The overflowing love coming from the heart of this man on a nine-day fast is unmistakable.  This is not the kind of encounter that police are trained in.  Seeing his confusion, Pancho steps up his empathy and changes the topic.  Looking at the last name on his badge, he asks for the officer's first name.  And addressing him as a family member, he says, "Brother, let me guess, you must like Mexican food."  [Awkward pause.] "Yes."  "Well, I know this place in San Francisco that has the best carnitas and fajitas and quesadillas, and I tell you what, when I get done with this and you get done with this, I'd like to break my fast with you. What do you say?"

The police officer is completely flabbergasted, his humanity irrevocably invoked. He accepts the invitation!  Dropping eye contact gently, he then walks around Pancho and voluntarily loosens his handcuffs.  In silence.  By now, all of Pancho's comrades -- twelve of them -- are also in handcuffs, so the officer then goes around to loosen everyone else's handcuffs too.

There are those who use anger, sarcasm and parody to confront unjust action.  Pancho does it with just the simple -- and radical -- power of love.   If he had a superpower, that would be it.  He is a fearless soldier of compassion, unconditionally willing to hold up a fierce mirror of love.

For Pancho, the whole World, every moment, is his field of practice.  When he was recently asked what nourishes him, his response was clear: meditation and small acts of kindness.  Meditation deepens his awareness while small acts of kindness deepens his inter-connectedness.  Or as Pancho would sum it up, "Meditation is the DNA of the kindness revolution."   Ever since he first went to a meditation retreat, he has continued to meditate everyday.  "Pancho 2.0" is what he calls himself since then.  It was as if he discovered a new technology to battle our burning world.

Spirituality often sees activism as unnecessarily binding, while activism often sees spirituality as a navel-gazing escape.  For Pancho, though, the two paths merge into one.  Meditation is internal service, while service is external meditation.

In Arizona, when Pancho is arrested for protesting immigration laws that President Obama called unconstitutional, he smiles peacefully for his mug shot. The Sheriff yells out an order: "Stop smiling."  Immediately, it mirrors the ridiculousness of the request.  Several years ago, some of Pancho's friends lived in a tree to ignite a conversation around "chopping down 300 year old trees in 30 minutes".  When the authorities put a barricade around the tree to starve the tree-sitters, Pancho shows up to meditate and spread "metta" (loving kindness) to all those around him.  While sitting peacefully under the tree, he is arrested.  His offense quite literally read: "Disturbing the peace."

Ultimately, it was in Gandhi that Pancho found his greatest role model for social change.  Perhaps for the first time, history had seen someone manifest seismic systemic shifts in the world solely through the power of inner transformation.  Gandhi opposed unjust action, not just without violence but with radical love for everyone including the person doing the harm; and for every act of resistance, he advocated nine more actions for constructive social change.

"Nonviolence isn't just a philosophy of resistance.  It is a way of life.  Nonviolence is the thoughts we have, the words that we use, the clothes that we wear, the things that we say.  It is not just an absence of violence, not even just the absence of wanting to cause harm.  Nonviolence is a state when your heart is so full of love, compassion, kindness, generosity and forgiveness that you simply don't have any room for anger, frustration or violence," Pancho describes.

When Pancho stopped cooperating with the University of California system, he lost his student visa.  In light of his courage, more than a dozen people offered to help reinstate his status.  He appreciated the gesture but chose to stay undocumented.  More than being in one geographical location or another, he was more interested in blooming wherever he was planted.  Now, all of a sudden, being "undocumented", he got an experiential insight into what that meant for 11 million people living in the United States; he couldn't work, he couldn't have a bank account or a credit card, he couldn't own anything and he'd have to work low-wage labor jobs, without any insurance, just to survive.

Here is someone capable of being a rocket scientist, whose father is an Economics scholar and author in Mexico, who chooses to live without any financial currency -- just so he can be of service to his struggling brethren.  He is sustained purely by social capital.  His tendency to constantly seek to be helpful earns him many friends, who would host him one day of the week.  And on days that he didn't have a host, he'd just live out in the woods ("Redwood Cathedral" as he calls it).  Such details don't matter much for Pancho.  All his possessions fit into one bag pack, as his life organizes around doing acts of service.

When Pancho learned about the troubled situation in his neighboring East Oakland, he was quite moved.  Rife with gang warfare, it is an area that most people have written off.  Every week, residents hear the sounds of gun shots being fired -- and that's no exaggeration.  It’s a community with 53 liquor stores and no grocery stores.  The tensions between the police and the community have continued to escalate, while traditional civic programs haven't made much of a dent.

So Pancho decides to do something about it, with an altogether different framework.  Instead of helping from the outside, he wanted to become one of them; instead of just receiving external aid, he wondered if the community could not only discover undiscovered gifts but then share them freely with others.

With a few like-hearted friends, Pancho rents a house right on the border of two gangs.  They call their home “Casa de Paz” -- house of peace.  The shared values of the house include 2 hours of daily meditation, no drinking, and a vegan diet.  And no locks on the doors -- anyone can come in any time.

Every Tuesday and Thursday morning, they meditate and do yoga at the local Cesar Chavez park (which has been home to several shootings in recent months).  People have all kinds of reactions to their public meditations.  One time, a mildly drunk man with bloodshot eyes is roaming the park with his girlfriend.  Initially, they smirk and make snide remarks but then as they approach Pancho and his two housemates sitting in crossed legged meditation, Pancho opens his eyes with a loving embrace.  As Pancho reaches to grab something from his bag, the man instinctively reached for something (possibly a gun) in his pocket.  "Brother, here's a fresh, local, organic strawberry for you," Pancho said while holding up the edible, red-colored gift from Nature.

On another occasion, their neighbor's teenage daughter attempts to commit suicide, on a Friday afternoon.  The sounds of sirens create a mild panic in the community but for Pancho and his housemates, it is another opportunity to spread love.  They show up to comfort their neighbors, with a kettle of hot tea, as the family shares their troubles.  Over the next month, that same teenage girl becomes a friend and gets interested in the farming projects at Casa de Paz.

Almost everyday, they facilitate these transformations.  Another time, a few young boys boisterously smash empty alcohol bottles on the streets, just as a prank.  Instead of cringing in fear, Pancho runs outside, barefoot.  The boys could see him and vice-versa, and instead of anger, Pancho humbly bends down and starts picking up the pieces of broken glass.  Something about that act took the kids by surprise, as they slowly returned back.  "Brother, you see that house over there?  They have a young one, and when he walks out on the street, we don't want them to get hurt," Pancho explains to them in fluent Spanish.  One thing after another, the kids themselves start helping pick up the broken pieces -- and make role models of these love warriors on their street.

In isolation, these are small stories.  Yet, collectively, its impact adds up.  It binds the community, it creates new connections, it fills the gaps.  Its like the silence in between the notes that allows the music to be heard.

"A lot of people talk their talk, but very few can walk their walk.  Living in that community is hard, but living at Casa de Paz is even harder.  They simply refuse to compromise their values, even in small ways, when no one else is looking.  One time, I told them that perhaps their precepts were a bit too tough, and Pancho opened up a book and showed me 11 observances that Gandhi upheld at his ashram.  I couldn’t say anything to that," remembers Kanchan Gokhale, a long-time friend.
One of those observances is Silent Mondays.  In the tradition of Gandhi, Pancho is silent every Monday.  Even on that November 14th, the day of the Occupy Oakland raid which happened to be a Monday, Pancho stays silent on principle.  As the riot police arrest him, he writes a comment on a piece of paper: "On Mondays, I practice silence.  But I'd like you to hear that I love you."  The officer smiles.  How could you not?

"On the face of it, Pancho doesn't own anything.  Yet, he is one of the most generous people I've ever met," says another friend, Joanna Holsten.

How can you give, when you don't have anything?  That paradox is what makes Pancho shine.  When a friend asked him about service, he took her to a local Farmers Market with two chairs.  She sat on one chair, and put a sign on the other chair: "Free listening."  When Pancho and his friends saw unused fruit in their neighbor's backyards, they requested to "glean" the fruit and then gift it to strangers: "This is a gift from East Oakland."  On a recent Sunday, they gave away 250 pounds of fresh, organic oranges that way.

That creative generosity, a kind of “giftivism”, takes all kinds of forms for Pancho.

Of the 32 people arrested at Occupy Oakland, 31 were sent home on the same day, with a misdemeanor charge.  Pancho, however, is held for deportation.  Very quickly, he becomes an iconic symbol for all that is wrong with the dominant paradigm.  Within two days, twenty thousand people sign a petition to free Pancho.  At his court arraignment, a large group of people show up to meditate -- which has never happened in that courthouse, and again confuses all the police in riot-gear who are themselves drawn to the circle.  People from around the world call the sheriffs and congress representatives.  Media everywhere reports the story. Vigils are held by many around the globe.  By the end of the four days, Alameda County D.A. drops all criminal charges and ICE (Immigrations and Customs Enforcement) releases Pancho from jail, without any bail.  No one can really explain the unprecedented move by the authorities.  "It was truly a miracle that he was let go," Marianne Manilove posted on her FaceBook wall.

Francisco Ugarte, Pancho's pro-bono laywer, happily reported, "They really didn't know what to do with him."  He would relay Pancho's notes from various jails that he was being shuttled to.  "Tell them that I love them all.  (It’s a) great place to meditate!" was his first note to friends and supporters.  Francisco's second note conveyed this message: "Pancho wanted me to convey to folks that he was, for some reason, identified as a particularly dangerous inmate, wearing a red clothes in jail, and shackled so that the movement of his arms was restrained. The shackles were metal, and surrounded his waist. Apparently, this treatment is reserved only for the most "dangerous" inmates. It is unclear why Alameda County have done this.  But after a short conversation, we agreed that, without a doubt, Pancho was the most dangerous person in Santa Rita Jail -- dangerous to the whole system.  As Pancho said, 'The most effective weapon against a system based on greed and violence is kindness.'"

Kindness is indeed Pancho's go-to weapon.   When in doubt, be kind.  Even otherwise, be kind.

As Pancho is shackled up in solitary confinement, he creates a makeshift cushion with his shoes and starts meditating.  The guards themselves start taking photos to post on their Facebook walls!  Moved by his equipoise under conditions of extreme stress, some guards even inquire about the specifics of meditation.  One of them befriends him and gifts him an extra "package" -- a toothbrush, a toothpaste, a piece of paper and a pen.  Pancho then cleans up his cell of all the litter, toilet paper and other waste; on the piece of paper he writes, "Smile.  You've just been tagged with an anonymous act of kindness!", and leaves that extra toothpaste and toothbrush next to it.  "I wanted to beautify the cell for the next person after me," he would later say.  Jails didn't have any vegetarian food, so he smilingly fasted -- having two oranges in four days.  He gifts away his ham sandwiches to other inmates, and connects with them in the spirit of generosity too.  In transit, when he has more contact with other prisoners, he educates them about their rights.  With the ICE agent who shackles him, he smilingly says, "Sister, your soul is too beautiful to be doing this kind of work."  To which she smiled back and responded, "Thank you."

Really, there’s not much else one can respond with.
When he is released from jail, lots of media houses are frantically looking for him.  Pancho, utterly uninterested in the games of fame, is unreachable.  The man doesn't even have a phone.  That weekend, like every weekend, the best way to find him was to meditate at Casa de Paz, or volunteer at Karma Kitchen, or farm at the Free Farm Stand.  "Let's replicate constructive programs," he would say, while retelling stories of Gandhi.
From anarchists to administrators, people love Pancho -- not just because he fiercely stands up for his values but because he is genuinely and constantly moved by love.  Whenever you meet him, he pre-emptively warns, “Hello, my family calls me Pancho.  I’m from the part of the planet we call Mexico and in Mexico, we like to give hugs,” before enveloping you in his trademark embrace.
Former US Marine Jason Kal recalls, "When we first met, I just casually told Pancho that I liked his t-shirt that said 'ahimsa' (meaning nonviolence) on it.   The next thing you know, he just takes off his t-shirt and gives it to me.  I was totally speechless.  I've never seen anyone do that."  Today, Jason is Pancho's housemate at Casa de Paz and a dear friend.

As Pancho often signs off his emails, “If you want to be a rebel, be kind.”

October 23, 2011

All I ask


Do you remember when...

I was seven and you were eight, and we were playing hide and seek and wandered far away from the other kids. We ended up beneath a willow tree, and you asked me if I wanted to play doctor and I said, "okay!" So you said you needed to examine me, so I pulled up the skirt on my pink polka-dotted dress, and pulled down my panties and you looked very carefully to make sure that I wasn't sick. And then I was the doctor and you pulled down your shorts and underwear and I stared, amazed to see how different you were...

And do you remember your hand between my legs when I was your childhood sweetheart and we were necking in the back of a '57 Chevy? I was a good Catholic girl, so we never had intercourse, but after a lot of petting and promises, you could pretty much touch me wherever you wanted, though I never took my clothes off. Your hands would slip beneath my white blouse and push my bra off my firm young breasts and sometimes I'd let you unbutton the blouse so that you could suck on the dark pink nipples while your fingers slid beneath white cotton panties to the thick swatch of blond hair and then up and inside me, and we were trying so hard to be quiet even though we were up at Lookout Point and the only people around were other couples in other cars doing exactly what we were doing...

Or maybe you don't like me as a blonde. Maybe you prefer me as your wife, with sweet brown curls and a surprisingly wicked streak. You like me whispering suggestions in your ear, "Let me touch you, let me suck you, let me lick your cock, your balls, your asshole...call me your little girl and I'll call you daddy...call me your slut, your whore, whatever you like but please fuck me now -- I'll beg you if you want, oh yes..."

Would you prefer to beg? Me with flowing auburn hair down to my butt and green eyes and all in black. A black leather bodice laced tight so my breasts overflowed at the top, and black leather pants with the crotch cut out and black boots with five-inch spike heels and a nine-tailed cat in my hands, its soft leather aching for your back. I'd have you on your knees beneath me, begging for a chance to please your mistress, and I'd slap your face saying, "Who gave you permission to speak, little boy?! You only open your mouth when I say you do, understand? And now I want you to use it, crawl over here and lick me like you mean it." And when you do, I will get angry, and say you aren't doing a good job, and the cat will rain blows on your naked back and you will kneel there, silently begging with your eyes and trying not to scream...

I can be everything your heart desires -- everything your groin demands. And all I ask is that you never expect me to fold the laundry.

October 16, 2011

NYPD Think they are in a war zone with some unarmed protesters....

The police are begining to go against their own coniusneses of what it right, ethical and just.  They are becoming the thugs they so are sworn to protect U.S. Citizens from.
 
United States Marine Corps. Sgt. Shamar Thomas from Roosevelt, NY went toe to toe with the New York Police Department. An activist in the Occupy Wall Street movement, Thomas voiced his opinions of the NYPD police brutality that had and has been plaguing the #OWS movement.

Thomas comes from a long line of people who sacrifice for their country: Mother, Army Veteran (Iraq), Step father, Army, active duty (Afghanistan), Grand father, Air Force veteran (Vietnam), Great Grand Father Navy veteran (World War II). There is no honor, you dam right Sarg.



To contact Sgt. Thomas directly: sgtshamarthomasusmc@yahoo.com

August 22, 2011

Fascinating documentary on Fat in different cultures by National Geographic ~Taboo Beauty

 
 

“We have to create culture, don't watch TV, don't read magazines, don't even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are now is the most immediate sector of your universe, and if you're worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered, you're giving it all away to icons, icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that you want to dress like X or have lips like Y. This is shit-brained, this kind of thinking. 

That is all cultural diversion, and what is real is you and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told 'no', we're unimportant, we're peripheral. 'Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.' And then you're a player, you don't want to even play in that game. 

You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that's being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world.” 

~ Terence Mc Kenna

July 12, 2011

Numerology Life Path 7

 
I'm a life path 7. The 7 Life Path is the searcher and seeker of truth. You have a clear and compelling sense of yourself as a spiritual being. As a result, your goal is devoted to investigations into the unknown, and to finding the answers to the mysteries of life.

You posses a fine mind; you are an analytical thinker who is capable of great concentration and theoretical insight. You enjoy research and putting the pieces of an intellectual puzzle together. Once you have enough pieces in place, you are capable of highly creative insight, and of practical solutions to problems.

You enjoy your solitude, preferring to work alone. You need time to contemplate your ideas without the intrusion of other's people's thoughts. You are a lone wolf, a person who lives by your own ideas and methods.

As a result, close associations are difficult for you to form and to keep especially, marriage. You need your space and privacy, which when violated, can cause great frustration and irritation. When your life is balanced, however, you are both charming and attractive. You can be the life of a party and you enjoy performing before an audience. You enjoy displaying your wit and knowledge, which makes you attractive to others, especially the opposite sex. But you have distinct limits. While you are generous in social situations, sharing your attention and energy freely, you are keenly aware of the need to come off stage, and to return to the solitude of your lair. You associate peace with the unobtrusive privacy of your world. Therefore, intimacy is difficult for you, because you guard your inner world like a mother lion does her cubs.

However, all this privacy and solitude can cause isolation and loneliness. You can be aware of an emptiness in your life, a part of you that yearns for company and close companionship that may be unsatisfied.

If isolation is brought to extreme, you can become cynical and suspicious. You can develop hidden, selfish motives, which people may sense and cause them to be uncomfortable around you. You must guard against becoming too withdrawn and too independent, thus shutting out the love for others, and keeping you from experiencing the true joy of friendship and close companionship.

You must especially watch out for selfishness and egocentricity, thinking of yourself as the center of the universe, as the only person who really matters. Social contract gives you perspective on yourself and on life, while too much isolation can make you too narrow, and even shut off from the rest of the world.

Secretly, you may feel jealous of the easy relationships formed by others; you may perceive others as less inhibited than you, or more free to express themselves. You may harshly criticize yourself for not being more gregarious, powerful or capable of greater leadership.
Your challenge in life is to maintain your independence without feeling isolated or ineffectual. You must hold fast to your unique view of the world while at the same time being open to others and to the knowledge they have to offer.

With your abilities to learn, analyze and seek out answers to life's important questions, you have the potential for enormous growth and success in life. By the time you reach middle age you will radiate refinement and wisdom. Phytaguours, who lived 2500 years ago and is often called the father of numerology, loved the 7 for its great spiritual potential.

The person with a 7 Path Life often finds success and satisfaction with business, science, religion, insurance, invention, the occult and anything relate to research.

Find out yours here!

July 2, 2011

Solving the Mid-life Crisis - A Silly RTW Pilgrimage

Yesterday I took Nellie the Scooter Dog and a pitcher of wine coolers to the beach, it was a gloriously sunny day here in Pacifica so we soaked up some rays and watched beautiful surfer boys do amazing stunts in wet suits – always a pleasure.

I have been feeling depressed and rather whore-moany lately, contemplating my life direction as I begin to look at going back to a day job.  This time off has really been about deciding how I want to live the last half of my life.  How and where I want to live and where my heart is about it all.

On my way back from the big Seattle Artcar Blowout this year I was smitten with Mt. Shasta, Lake Shastina and fell in love with the small town of Weed, CA.  I could totally see myself flopping down a cool shipping container house/industrial art studio on some small piece of land and have a get-a-way off the grid remote retirement homestead there.  I call the San Francisco bay area my home and Pacifica, CA is very close to my heart, but the open road is calling to me to spread my wings.  Here is a Squirly Whirly Road report I made coming home near Mt. Shasta:



The goal is to be self employed and work from home or continue doing high paid contract work for 6 months out of the year and take 6 months off to spread random acts of silliness and fun around the globe changing the emotional states of millions.

As I was cruising in the Squirly Whirly back home from the state of Washington, through Oregon back to California, I saw many RV’s that were towing a car.   This got me thinking about what it would be like staying in an RV for long periods of time.  I have been working on building plans for a stealth 24 ft. box van studio work/live apartment, but the thought of a complete non-stealth ridiculously funny comfy already pre-made recreational vehicle sounds almost irresistible. 

My idea is something huge and hilariously epic barreling down the road on a RTW (Round the World) pilgrimage - A New Artcar Project, one that I can travel comfortably in with a couple of goofy friends who want to join me off and on for 6 months of adventures in sharing music, art & debauchery.  Live roadshow webcasts, make new cool friends all across the world and write all about the experience.... That is something to get excited about!  Sell my wares, do some gigs go to lots of concerts and do art shows all along the way.

Working at day job seems a whole lot more juicy now!!!!!

Anyone wanna get off their Hamster wheel and come out and play?

May 12, 2011

Charles Stephen Russell... 'Cha ste rus'

I found out today May 12, 2011 that my beloved friend, Charlie Russell born on January 6, 1965, was found dead this morning at his amazing art installation home, "East Jesus" in Slab City, CA. The cause of death is still being determined, but it seemed to have to do with some recent health related issue.  Too young, too soon for him to go.  I still can't believe it. 

I first met Charlie at Burning Man in 2004, I spotted his VW Camper Bus Artcar "Cinnabar Charm" (which was named after a Th. Metzger poem) parked out in the middle of nowhere on the playa and dropped everything to stop by and check it out since I had an old classic VW Camper Bus Artcar too. He was naked and wearing a watch as a cock ring, and was trying to sleep so I didn't get to actually meet him that day, but I never forgot him, what time it was, or the bumper sticker he had that said, "Church of the Chocolate Martini."

Shortly after returning from Black Rock City, I was invited to come to Artcar Fest and got to meet artcar artists, which I did not consider myself to be at the time. Everyone that I met told me I had to meet Charlie Russell. We both had VW Camper Bus Artcars and loved martini's! I didn't get to meet him until the next year.

I stocked his website and started having a little crush on the boy from afar. I'd heard lots of stories about him and was inspired and astounded at what he was building near BLM land in southern California. I became a regular reader of his online blog/journal "asynchronology" over morning coffee for years. I was most intrigued by his poetic eccentric original ideals that seemed to have a scientific, philosophical,earthy depth. He was complicated and fascinating, I loved the way see saw the world. I needed to really get to know this wild man living in the desert alone.  For a few years I got to know him at art car events and through email exchanges.  I was drawing up plans for stealth box truck living and my shipping container home, he was more then helpful he was already living the dream.

It wasn't until 2008 that we finally kissed and he asked me to "Go Steady", he actually asked me, like we were in Jr. High school, very sweet. I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, he lived in Slab City, it was hard to be so far apart. We had a great time writing to one another and leaving vm messages. We were a great pair, he was "Feral Charlie, the Major of East Jesus" and I was what he called me his, "Fancy Girlfriend". We were both very happy for awhile. He posted this on his blog:

2008.04.11.1447  happy



this isn't news, nobody cares when you say, "I am happier than I have ever been in my life."
no one gives a flying fuck when everything works out, when the mountains touch the ground, and when the lovers are united, though distant...
and world peace might be the most boring thing to ever descend upon us....


be prepared, then, for lots and lots of boredom, my friend....
the future is now, and it's after the end of the world.


may our immediate future be without incident, without calamity, and without the newsworthy.
i am beyond contentment in my boring little place in the desert, with my views of the mountains
and my dog, and my friends, some shade,
and a few gallons of water for the cactus, and me.


i remain - unspectacularly, very forgetttably yours.....


- chasterus

We would visit one another, driving and or flying the 600 miles.  He bought me my own little trailer for when I came to visit East Jesus.  He covered it in corks and artistically fixed it up beautifully and even put a star on the door.  I felt like the East Jesus Movie Star!

He was one of the most talented people I have ever met.  He would take any piece of crap thing and transform it into clever beauty.  He loved to debate, he loved good whiskey, guns with lots of amo and bacon and martini's and showed me how to REALLY LISTEN to the album  "Dark Side of the Moon".  He was a poet and passionate kind hearted fierce and loyal lover and friend.  He had a great mind.  He loved the "Humminy Birds" he would call them.  He would joke about having a petting zoo of Scorpions, Rattle Snakes and other dangerous desert creatures.  He was funny.  He was serious too, sometimes too serious for his own good.  He was certainly a "Fringe Dweller" in every sense word.  He was a real renegade. He could be scary and unpredictable.  He was crazy as hell sometimes.  I think society became too crazy for him to live in, I couldn't agree more. 

Charlie was a true humanitarian.  He would share his world with almost anyone passing by.  He had a heart of gold and would genuinely help those in need when they really needed it.  He wasn't building a community of dusty artists - Off The Grid... they just found him.  Charlie was original in every way imaginable.  He was a great builder and designer, self taught from solar power to the most advanced micro chip.  He was a HAM Radio man,  a great cook and a articulate story teller and writer.  He was such a bad boy, in such a good way.  He had the best laugh. We shared a love of BBQ, Micro brewers, Natural Hot Springs and planned to travel all over the country to explore them, which I wish we would have done.

Performing music has been and continues to be a huge part of my life.  I used to encourage him to get back into playing or composing music, since he did have a formal Bachelors in Music Composition degree.  Oddly enough that is something we never got to share together. Thankfully, he started playing again after we broke up.  Here are a few of his music videos.  I love his voice and heart.  I regret not playing music with him most. 

Charles Stephen Russell made a huge contribution to the free art world as we know it.  There is a new generation of people who are now creating wide open free range off the grid art compounds all over the world, because of Charlie Russell. He lived everyday the way he wanted and how he wanted it.  He was a living legend and hero to us all.

Charlie I love you and I am going to miss you sweetheart.  Save me a martini, and I'll see you on the other side.

May 11, 2011

An In Depth Look at UFOs, Aliens, and the Question of "Contact"...

Wow, here is a great mind boggling in depth look at years of research on many topics concerning "Contact" that truly try to uncover what is going on here in this reality... Worth watching!

















What do you think?

April 24, 2011

Ted Kratter….

The world of music lost a great one today… San Francisco bay area Bluegrass and Folk guitar player, Ted Kratter died of Cancer today.  One of the greatest guitar players and closest and funniest friends I have known.  My heart is broken.


Lighting Fingers, I miss you.  I can't begin to find the words just yet.  I can’t imagine my life without you in it.



March 9, 2011

Here is what I woke up to yesterday morning...

I just got back from the weekend. I had a great gig at the Calistoga Mud, Mustard and Music jazz festival, then went up to Harbin Hot Springs and camped in Lisa's Burning man Class B Camper Van... here is the video I took when I woke up yesterday morning...

March 5, 2011

Feel the Burne….


Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que c'est….I’m sitting in my hotel room in Calistoga, CA chilling before tomorrows jazz gig for the Calistoga "Mustard, Mud & Music" Festival. They are comping some nice dining for the band, so Doug and I are going to check out Brannan’s in a little bit. 

Dangerous Martini is going to shake and stir this place up good.  David Burne is going to feel a burn when we put the dangerous martini lounge spank on one of the Talking Heads covers tomorrow.  I keep listening to the song here on my laptop.

The French part is interesting…Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là - What I did that night, Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là - What she said that night, Réalisant mon espoir - Realizing my dreams, Je me lance vers la gloire - I throw myself towards glory.  Legend has it that this was Isadora Duncan’s last words before her tragic death. We are vain and we are blind, I hate people when they're not polite

There is always something the same about hotel rooms no matter where you go, their just like airport bars… stale, overly nice and lonely. 

February 21, 2011

"The Acrylic Years."...

This year seems to be a big turn around for me.  I’m starting over with my personal rig, looking in the mirror for the first time in years.  I do like myself as I am, I just don’t relate very well.  I suffer from a form of dissociative anxiety that seems to flare up when I am faced with my need to protect myself... from facing my own feelings and myself.  Hence why I can sing the shit out of torch ballads - it's safer for me to sling the deep emotional shit artistically at youBeing a vocalist is cheaper then therapy.  Astrologically, I am a fire sign but have a truck load of water in my natal chart, and haven’t quite developed the capacity for dealing with the bigger waves yet.  I'm steamy either way.  I seem to have become a connoisseur of avoiding reality, and certainly when it involves my body, aging, responsibility and dealing with my looks in general.  I haven’t quite lost my bloom, but my petals are certainly falling off.

Is there life after 12 years of acrylic hair extensions and 25 years of acrylic nails?  I hope so because I have removed every trace of acrylic from permanently being stuck to me.  I have very fine and soft, brittle hair and nails always have – DUCK FUR I call it - and that was my solution – show biz fakery, or props for being a Lady in this culture…. I need a break from fake.  I want to just be myself, my real self.  I have a couple wigs to transition to let my hair grow out for the public, but I am cultivating the ground and planting new fresh seeds.  I've endured a lot of stinking fertilizer and tilling my soil hurts.

This year I have the opportunity to examine myself and find what is up with me, though I am finding this very difficult to do.  This is my internal war.  Apathy, depression, boredom, creative inspiration, anxiety, unexpressed rage, injustice, fear of too much attention mixed with the need to feel significant, it’s like having the foot and the gas and the break at the same time.
ME…. Can’t you smell the stench of burnt brakes and tar….? Me… the childlike middle aged big beautiful care giving chef that sings jazz with a soul full of blues and glues squirrels to her car? ….the psychic empathic secret psychologist to the world who prays for only really one super power – To be able to heal and restore every living thing to perfect health, balance and happiness….? …. The loner, the rebel, who fights rules and lives to defy authority yet is sick of paying the price for it….? … the lost little girl who cries herself to sleep because she fears to dream of love ever again …? a highly sensual lover who is too fat and out of shape to fuck….? … sad lazy angry bitter dressed and ready to catch the next big end of the world scenario in hopes she can die from natural causes….? …planning to live in a truck as a retirement plan….? …hiding in my postage stamp bedroom, thankful just to be safe and dry and warm….? …spending time planning a future of freedom and fun and practicing being here now….? … uncovering every stone in the universe and beyond to find out what the hell I am doing here...? …choosing a simpler way of life….? …laying off the beer and bacon switching to salad and fat free yogurt for awhile….?…peri-fucking-menopause, the beginning of the end of my bleeding whiny-ass sniveling youth….? 

Yep ME…the artist and singer and tour guide of really weird stuff and living silly adventures, a fine example of 'What Not To Do'....hoping to remind myself to not take life too seriously...
New strong beautiful fresh sprouts are springing up and out slowly on the outside and inside. 

Let the detox begin and may a giant purple acrylic vagina be erected somewhere forbidden in my honor - to represent "The Acrylic Years." 


February 13, 2011

The Art of Kitty Zen


“Diva” my sweet cat is 12 years old.  She is a long hair smoky black luxurious kitty with aqua blue/green eyes.  I had rescued her from an animal shelter with her late brother “Dude” whom I am calling late because we still don’t know what became of him.  That is a heart breaking sad story I’ll tell you another time.

Diva is my girl.  We are bonded for life.  She may be like a daughter to me in some ways, but mostly she has been my one truly loyal and trusted friend.  She has allergies, she has a strong personality and doesn’t like to be brushed or bathed and certainly lives up to her name.  She has lately developed big kitty dreadlocks in her fur and they are getting too much for her to handle anymore.  I have been looking for a veterinarian locally who may be able to sedate her and shave these off for us. 

Then it hit me, this sweet cat is the longest closest good relationship I have had in this lifetime, including both of my parents and my brother.  She and I have been through so much together, so many ups and downs, moves, PTSD, jobs, depression, and even being homeless for awhile.  Diva is the oldest pet I have had in my life.  She is smart as hell too.  I hear her in pictures in my head.  Animals do talk, it’s a lot like what Telepathy would be, I guess.  She understands me too.  We are connected in a really special way.

After Dude went missing, Diva fell completely apart.  I mean bad.  She started chewing off half of her body fur and just was depressed beyond repair.  We were both destroyed by his loss.  We ended up moving to a cool pad behind a great Art College in the Rockridge District of Oakland/Berkeley, CA and within the second week I rescued a small short hair black girly kitten and named her “Gidget” – She was a Girl and a Midget.  Diva was pleasantly distracted.  They have become soul sisters and very close friends.

As long as they are safe and happy, I am okay.  I must be honest and say, that there have been times that if it weren’t for my two girls, I may have not made it.  I have learned so much from them, mostly unconditional love and remembering to purr and let myself be in the moment and enjoy it, completely.  The art of kitty Zen…..my sweet little Angels with fur.  Thanks for taking such good care of me.

February 9, 2011

Hope for the future...

I have been tired, I mean deep down to the bone tired of living lifetime after lifetime coming back to a world where there is so much suffering and pain.  I had decided that the next time I die, I'm going to have a sit down chat with the Creator and say I want a long soul vacation. 
How many of you have had this same feeling?

I have done all the self help, deep meditational, medical psycho-medicational, and just about every new age "Try to feel better" thing on the planet to figure out why I feel like such crap and everyone around me too.  I started to dig and do research on what actually IS GOING ON in the this world to try to make some sense of it all.  I researched into all the ancient texts, religions, conspiracies, studies of human brain, psychology, sociology, economics, politics, futurist and predictive measures, magic, forbidden secret cabals, the human spirit, the earth, nature itself.... and have learned much about who we are and how we have been operating here on this 3rd dimensional space.

The why has puzzled me too.  I'm pretty sure it has to do with Love and Creating cool stuff and sub-categories of such love in infinite ways of expression.  Not everyone, but deep down I believe All living things want to thrive more then just survive.  I have concluded that what systems we have in place currently stink.  It's not about blaming or fearing who we put in charge to watch over us anymore.  There is no doubt that the system has been compromised and is being managed by a spirit of scarcity and greed.  We need to take a moment and look at what we are doing to ourselves, one another and to our home - our planet.

I got REALLY INSPIRED when I found this video interview with a futurist Jacque Fresco here... 

Then found The Venus Project here... (Lot's of great ideas and videos in the link)

Then found the newest of a series of mind opening 2011 videos Newest Here...

I suggest watching the Zeitgeist Original Video Series here... (They are long, controversial and mind openingly interesting)

When I watched these, I felt a new sense of hope and purpose.  I felt YOUNG and EXCITED about living again.  I take most things with a grain of salt, and I have lot's of questions, but I like the ideas and can see a future I would like to come back too.  Change, I imagine will be rough, but I believe Jacque makes perfect sense, and the truth that all human beings having there basic needs be met would certainly make this world a better place to live.

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO CHECK THESE IDEAS OUT!

January 24, 2011

Aleister Crowley - The Wickedest Douchbag In The World

Aleister Crowley was one of the pathetic power hungry narcissistic douchbags that ever lived. I think he was a rebel against religion in the beginning and then ended up experimenting with the dark side and was possessed by it completely.  Here is an interesting show if you want to learn more about who he was.

January 12, 2011

Mayan calendar’s actual beginning of the end date is October 28, 2011...

Hello 2011… ….What will you be bringing us this year? Is this the last year of our lives? Is October 28, 2011 the start of the end in the Mayan Calendar?

Let’s review the current list of possible scenarios on the table:

  • We wake up one day and have new DNA and suddenly have use of the 90% of our brains that we weren’t using before?
  • Solar Flare – Kill Shot?
  • Planet X - Nibiru returns and shakes us up?
  • Pole Shift?
  • Ascension happens for the positive kind folks on the planet and we go into the next dimensions in spiritual development?
  • Artificial Intelligence Singularity?
  • The Mothership shows up and saves mankind by taking us to a safe place?
  • CERN creates a black hole with the God Particle that implodes our universe?
  • Electromagnetic Pulse, and society as we know it ends?
  • Global Economic collapse – World Depression, we starve to death?
  • Meteorite impact?
  • I build a stealth cube van mobile condo and save a bunch of money living on the fringe?
  • Earths Ozone Collapses and we fry?
  • Major earthquakes that sinks the state of California into the Pacific?
  • The Anti-Christ shows up and does his Satanic crap?
  • The world is threatened by a false flag pandemic and mandatory vaccine injections are forced upon all containing Nano-chips to be used for mass control of the human race?
  • Underground giants in hibernation chambers come back to life and destroy us?
  • Mega tsunami?
  • Alien hybrids rise up and defeat the manipulators behind the veil fucking with mankind?
  • The Constitution of the US will be reinstated and tyranny will end?
  • Extreme Climate change and global warming, bring a sudden Ice age?
  • Friendly race of extraterrestrials will introduce themselves as nice neighbors and show us better ways to be?
  • Nuclear war in Korea, then WW3?
  • FREE ENERGY will no longer be suppressed and we will begin to ween ourselves off of fossil fuels?
  • Locusts, sea turning to blood and "The Rapture" that Christians are expecting?
  • Planet splits like an atom and shifts into other dimensions?
  • Ecological disaster?
  • Great love will sweep me away in a year of world travels and adventures with a fun smart ass goofy guy and we will make love in beautiful places?
  • War on US Soil?
  • It will be like Y2K, nothing much happens?
  • World Domination of a dark cabal Reptilian race of aliens to make us their slaves?
  • Oakland Raiders win the super bowl?
  • Near Earth Supernova?
  • Join a survival community and contribute in anyway I can to relieve the suffering of others and help survivors’?
  • Super volcano erupting?
  • Federal Reserve Bank will be audited and found guilty of fraud, murder and treason and collapses, we start over and live much simpler lives in small self sustaining communities?
  • The hollow earth is discovered and we all meet our Creators inside?
  • US disclosure finally happens and nobody is shocked?
  • Aliens’ land on the White House lawn and punch the US President in the nards?
  • HARRP turns to a certain frequency that activates the barium and aluminum oxide particles scattered from chemtrails on us and make us all Zombies?
  • I move into a light industrial warehouse and turn it into a cool art studio loft home and sell really weird stuff online to make the world laugh out loud?
  • Dolphins & Whales become the representatives for earth because they are far more advanced then Homo sapien sapiens?
  • Anal probes for EVERYONE?
  • I trust in my process and the Universe with an open heart and remember to be– LIVING EVERYDAY AS IF IT WHERE OUR LAST.
Who knows?  All I do know is, I love being here with you.