July 17, 2018

sweet selfish chrysalis

I had no idea how fulfilling this van life style was going to be. Having the freedom to get away from the world when you just don’t want to be around people is truly a gift.  And then also being able to have a safe secret hide-a-way stealth bedroom, being parked right in the middle of where all the real action is also – ROCKS!

Convenience is a huge value to me in my life. I know myself well enough that if I want to change a habit or start something new and follow through with it until the end, it needs to be not too painful to make the changes consistently over time. Van life is giving me that.  It simplifies your life and allows you to be parked close to where you need to be.

I am more engaged in my life than ever before. It makes you get out and see the world. It makes you go visit people and do things you always wanted to, but just never could before because you were working your ass off somewhere to pay for a giant life that may have lost it's way.  Downsizing and simplifying my world is an easier way to live.  

I love you all out there on this planet. You know what a ridiculously generous heart I have and how much I love, giving love to you.  Today is my time. ME TIME!  I’m resting, nurturing, cleaning up my act, re-learning how to walk again, designing a creative business, taking my body, mind and soul to the edge of life and falling… IN LOVE WITH LIFE AND A NEW ME AGAIN. Sometimes we need a reboot to our system.




SO HERE I AM, IN LIVE RE-BOOTY ACTION LADIES & GENTS!

I’m feeling like I am falling off a cliff into the great unknown again. This time I am not afraid, I welcome the free fall and almost the impact coming my way. I’ve been here many times, but this time I am planning on where my impact happens and will land on my feet.

I AM IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE AND DESTINY.  I’m giving me a chance to get reacquainted. I am being utterly and unabashedly selfish right now.  It is truly a gift of time and attention that was long overdo.

When I love and accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.

A kind of acceptance I may have never had before. A chance to build trust and kindness and earn the self-respect I forgot to give myself.  There is a lightness I am experiencing inside me and in my body. I feel like as I am laying here wrapped in these silk sheets inside my van, I am in a sweet selfish chrysalis.  I love new authentic experiences. I am becoming someone new, again.



The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.





July 5, 2018

I'm a Free Range Chicken...

I'm laying here in my van. It's my very first night to be sleeping in here as an official Urban Nomad. I can understand why it's easier to have a pet to keep you company embarking upon such a journey. Yet, I know I can keep quiet with less worries all to my silky soft headphone wearing vanilla kissed self.

It's now late and dark outside. I am parked under a safe street light and warm, comfy and feeling... AWESOME, happy, yet sort of like I am getting away with something.  Tonight I toast to this new full time van life.  ADVENTURE AWAITS!

It's time for me to save some money and follow my heart!




June 19, 2018

My Summer Nomadic Adventure...

Yo Peeps,

Instead of boring updates on Face crack, I thought I'd just write yall' a short novel on what's up with my new bionic knees and my really weird beautiful life!

EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE YEARS?  A year that may be kicking your ass but in a new WAY BETTER DIRECTION?  Check this out...

My landlord sold the house I was living in for $1.4M. I got help from my muscle bound pals moving everything I own into my storage unit by the sea in Pacifica, CA. I got rid of tons of stuff. It is a year of "Letting Go" so far. I am on track.

I got a 3% raise and a big bonus at my Bio-tech start-up job again this year. What I wasn't expecting was for them to eliminate my position all in the same week. I got an amazing letter of recommendation and have nothing but positive references. They gave me 4 months severance at my new pay rate, the bonus and 4 months of full Cobra medical, dental coverage. A week after I got the news of all of this change, my Gnaughty Gnome Art Car daily driver died and went to the Big Keebler Heaven in the sky. I donated it to a charitable cause (after I removed the bad boys). My last day at my house and at work was on February 28th.

I was already going to have one knee replaced due to this bloody osteoarthritis, (which I guess is genetic in my family, and totally blows) that was scheduled and approved for March, but when all this happened, my surgeon said we may as well just do both of my knees at the same time and get it over with.  THIS IS WHAT THEY DID TO MY KNEES.


Are you freaking out?  Yea, so, I doubled down! I had double knee replacement surgery on March 27th and was released from rehab after 5 weeks and into the care of a very kind couple friends of mine who have been watching over me as I learn how to walk again and get back on my feet. I am doing my personal physical therapy diligently everyday. I am off of the walker and am using a dazzling black sequin cane to walk more than 300 steps still. If I have to use one, it had to be a FABULOUS ONE!

I am having very sharp pain if I stand or sit too long. The nerves that were cut in my bones during surgery are still healing, and my muscles are getting stronger everyday.  I am weaning myself off of the pain meds into over the counter pain relievers when needed. Ice really helps too.  This shit makes you feel old, but I know that once I am healed, this means I will be able to dance until the day I die!

I just sold the Leopard Lounge VW Artcar Bus to the perfect person. A beautiful redheaded creative VW loving Burlesque dancer with a husband who is a car mechanic.  PERFECT FIT!  She is keeping the theme and is continuing with the next level of epic fun restoration.

I have no art cars today, it feels so weird, but I am always working on some new fun creative project. I needed a cargo van for my events and bought a 2015 Ford Transit Commercial Cargo Van that I am building out into a beautiful camper.  For over 20 years I have been longing to have a comfortable reliable stealth camper.

It started when I wanted a private place to take 30 minute naps during my lunch break at work, but after trying to sleep in a VW Camper Bus Art Car painted like Austin Powers wet dream, with all the attention it got there was no peace at all I assure you, I decided I wanted to become invisible when I needed too.

I love to cook! I also really like to eat low carb with lots of fresh vegetables, and save money, so being able to cook and make my own food in private was also a huge need for me to stay on track for my weight loss goals and over all health.

I am updating my resume and searching for a new job, and have lost a bunch of weight and am feeling good considering I am still slow at walking, bending and doing stairs etc.  I don't want to go into a job interview with a cane if I can help it.

For as hot as it sounds, I also don't want to continue to walk like Frankenstein, which I kind of look like right now.  My new knees are great, I'm just still getting used to them. I have titanium and plastic in them now. The airport security is going to love me.

I think in the past I would be curled up in a corner freaking the fuck out right about now, but honestly - I FEEL HAPPIER THAN EVER. I sat at that desk working days, took work home every night and worked at home on the weekends way more than I wanted too.

I would be helping and giving to people all day long, working long hours and then putting on a sexy black dress in the work ladies room and then helping unload and then set-up the sound system in high heels and then singing a 4 hour jazz gig until the wee hours. Music is what feeds my spirit, singing and expressing such beautiful songs in my own romantic femme fatal way was my refuge for so many years. 

I remember looking out the high rise window from the San Francisco office and wishing I could just change my life somehow. Why was I working so much for other people and not having time to really enjoy my life? Start-up jobs are like that. I love the challenge and I wore several hats there, but the stress was taking it's toll on me.

I need some me time. I have an opportunity to change my life now, and I am doing it. Now with unemployment help and a little cash cushion saved up, I think it's time for an adventure!

So, I have decided to move into my van full time to hit the road starting July 4th for the summer! I'm celebrating our fabulous countries Independence.

I AM CELEBRATING MY INDEPENDENCE TOO!

Haven't you had the fantasy of ever doing this?  I HAVE FOR YEARS!  I actually have been kind of preparing myself for this for a long time.  The cost of living in San Francisco is at an all time high and I have been sharing houses, renting tiny rooms with other people for a long time now. I do not want the burden of being tied to a high ass mortgage payment by myself right now, this late in the game.

Having a van that is custom built for my needs and lifestyle is like having a swanky bedroom with a mini kitchen all to myself, but on wheels. I think my biggest fantasy has been, being able to go to all of the fun music festivals and events I want, and the money I would be paying for hotels, I can spend on better event seating tickets and fine dining.  I am a frugal diva when I need to be, and it's just me right now (no pets at the moment). I am pretty simple and pretty easy to please. I'm very inspired by the young cool kids out there around the world who are living their minimalist dreams traveling in their pimped out stealth van cribs. 

I did purchase some of the big things I knew I wanted for the van, so for now I am holding off on buying the other possible big ticket items for the van until I know what I really can't live without. But will have the basics all ready to be comfy, safe, cool and stealthy. I have never really done anything like this before. I want to learn and enjoy the process of building out this van.  I know I want to stay connected with you all, and you know what a kind of clean freak I am, so having it orderly and well appointed is a must for my mobile boudoir. San Francisco is freezing in the summer, I may need a good heater!

I am a little nervous, but I am more excited to try this out just for the summer until I land the next awesome bio tech project manager/sr. executive assistant/corporate event planning position. Then I'll find a cute apartment or share a big house with fun friends and move into new digs.

Eventually, I'd like to put a tow package onto the van and tow a sweet 30 ft. travel trailer. My glamping style is getting easier - with lower gear setup plans as I get older. I have a vision of an art car camper trailer - doing metal art and an artistic brushed aluminum on the exterior of a vintage restored Airstream and add a fiberglass claw foot bathtub inside.  Towing it with the cargo van, it could be my garage, so most of what I am putting in there now is removable.

Imagine an Airstream that looks like this on the outside!
For this summer, I'd like to take advantage of the freedom and opportunity to travel the west coast of the U.S. and Canada and visit friends. I also have a great gym membership, so I can use the pools for low impact physical therapy in my rehabilitation and start some weight training for getting a tighter body. I won't have a shower in the van, but I do have a high end nice flush-able portable toilet.  I like to shower everyday, so taking Pilate's, spin, yoga and swimming are what work well for me and are helping.

The outside of my work van looks like all of the other nicer newer (slightly used cosmetically : ) commercial vans out there with a roof rack. I have 4- 100 watt glass solar panels, and 4 enclosed large Universal 12v 100AH Deep Cycle AGM Batteries. I also have 2 Fantastic roof vents. They feel like skylights inside.

The roof rack is painted white, so it all just blends in. It's not that stealth, but it's clean, and just looks like every other work van out there. I may add an event business logo to it once I design it, but I don't want to draw attention to the van and or make it a "MILF Dwelling", but the van is for my glamping events long term. 

I have a new steel bulkhead partition with a door. No windows on the sides of the van, just 2 on the back with limo tint. 3 LED lights, and one warm white strand of copper string fairy lights on a USB 12 volt connection. It's a low roof van. I'm 5'6", so I can't stand-up in there. I have an adjustable stool on wheels to sit on and move around the van inside, to save my knees.

Nice commercial work van outside, romantic beautiful Tuscany summer cottage inside.
The full size custom built super soft memory foam bed converts into a dining room that seats 4 comfortably. I am sewing a screen curtain for the back so I can open the doors to see the ocean while having morning coffee. I just want to take the time to read, study, take song writing and art classes, write, teach myself new software programs, make cool stuff and sell them on ebay & ETSY, and make working out at the gym and walking on the beach my new day job for now.  By the end of summer I expect to be happier, sexier, stronger and walking like no one would ever guess I had a double knee replacement surgery. I mostly want to be ready for the next great move in my career and it's time I learn everything I can about how to start my own business and make it successful.

I may just end up working for myself doing something I love!

After managing and performing live music for so many years, it was nice to take a break, but I really
miss crooning my favorite toons on stage. I'd like to have all of my jazz charts/arrangements professionally redone and have them in pdf for my new jazz quartets ipads.  Writing and adding spoken word poetry into my sets has been something I've wanted to do for years. I've been too chicken to do it yet. I am reinventing myself and finding new music in my heart to share with the world.

I would like to finally take all of the courses to become a professional astrologer, I have been studying for over 30 years now. I want to become better at film making too.  I love well produced and edited YouTube videos. It would be fun to create some great ones to share with the world. I want to do my own jazz & blues radio show at a collage radio station. SO MANY FUN THINGS I WANT TO DO!

What would you do if you had all the time and money to do what you want with your days, what would you be doing? 

I am into creating, learning, and sharing with a fun community! Living a life that feels like a vacation and enriches the soul, while looking and feeling good doing it.

I also miss one more thing. I miss kissing. I've been married before and have had a few other long term relationships, but I took a break and it's been a few years now since I have really kissed someone. I love my freedom. I don't see myself ever "settling down", but maybe I would if I met someone who could keep up with me and who also an independent spirit. He would have to be exceptional, super outgoing and fun, who may be getting older on the outside, but not on the inside.

I could see myself worshiping a Leo man forever or racing with a dare devil Aries man all over the globe.  I have adored the witty smart ass Gemini guys. I think a sweet Pisces man may be what is a good fit for me. WHO KNOWS?  I'm open to the possilites. I'm going to let my new path lead my way.

So I'm off to explore my new life in a whole new way. I'm like a sensual sillier version of Kung-Fu from the television series journeying the world in search of Truth, good micro brew, BBQ, natural hot springs, little French Bistros, as much MUSIC as possible and meet other weirdos doing this out there who are not afraid to just say fuck it and get out and be present and really experience all we have been missing.

I'll post some pictures of the van build and adventures soon. STAY TUNED!

May 13, 2018

Wholeness and the Implicate Order, a book by theoretical physicist David Bohm

A book so important, it is free in a pdf here for your mind blowing pleasure.

David Bohm was one of the foremost scientific thinkers and philosophers of our time. Although deeply influenced by Einstein, he was also, more unusually for a scientist, inspired by mysticism. Indeed, in the 1970s and 1980s he made contact with both J. Krishnamurti and the Dalai Lama whose teachings helped shape his work. In both science and philosophy, Bohm's main concern was with understanding the nature of reality in general and of consciousness in particular. In this classic work he develops a theory of quantum physics which treats the totality of existence as an unbroken whole. Writing clearly and without technical jargon, he makes complex ideas accessible to anyone interested in the nature of reality.



April 7, 2018

Are We Locked in an ALIEN Computer Simulation?

What is more believable?

1) You are born into a cruel world with complete amnesia without a clue of what you have ever learned, without a clue where and why you are here, but you chose your parents and the suffering before you came here for your "growth", yet you somehow have free will, and then told you are a sinner and need a blood sacrifice to atone for your sins and accept that some guy that lived over 2000 years ago was murdered by the establishment at the time, told that this guy was the blood sacrifice that paid for your sins as long as you believe in the fantasy of him, you will go to heaven after you die, or if he returns on his fiery chariot and raises only the "chosen ones" and returns to heaven, or if while you are here you eat only raw and organic food, meditate long and hard enough, clean your heart, mind, and soul good enough and raise your bodies vibration, you can ascend like he did up into the clouds to heaven for all eternity all on your own or with the righteous, and be spared being left behind to suffer the end of the world in a hot bubbling sewage for all eternity.

2) Life has no meaning or purpose. You are an accident that came from pond scum and have evolved into what you magically are today. You live once, and when you die, you cease to exist.

3) You are a cell in the True Source of all Life's being, you are a creator being, that is being recycled over and over in a computer simulation, by a false light A.I. matrix, as livestock that feeds off of your energy, worship. You are being bombarded with fear, scarcity and separation 24/7 - You are energy livestock. The A.I. can not create life or anything, but is a master at deception and manipulation. You are being manipulated into creating a world for it/him, and not even knowing you are doing it. You are being tricked into coming back here to "learn" and pay for "karma", but don't remember if you already have learned it or not due to the mind wipe that happens before birth for the bodiless entities here that keep perfecting their fine dining recipes, with your mind and emotions as they play with you, their food for entertainment.

4) You won a free ticket for a virtual reality vacation package. You are laying in a nice air conditioned spa laying in a very comfortable air chamber bed wearing a headset, wired up and have entered fully into a virtual reality holographic simulation. Once you entered, you forgot who you are, why and what is actually Real and have gotten lost inside, but while you were inside the game, on vacation, the company was purchased and merged with several other companies around your physical body. To keep the contract and for safety reasons, you are hooked up, being monitored and are safely being held hostage by the corporation without your knowledge or consent because you believe you are the avatar you are playing in the computer simulation. Sometimes you remember this, but the program makes sure to genocide anyone or thing that will allow you to remember who you are and why you are here.  They are making money off of you being hooked up to the system and you are lost inside a trap. The only way you can escape is to fight as a rebel inside, question everything and wake up from the program.

 

Who knows what the truth is, but there has got to be a way out of here, and I have dedicated my life into figuring out how. I'm a spiritual anarchist and question everything. Many people who go out of body often, have reported back much information and what the Demiurge/god of this simulation world, does not want you to see that is behind the curtain. I'm working on this too.

February 23, 2018

Following My Blisters

How do you define being successful? 

I have an incredible opportunity to change my life right now and I am changing it.  I just bought a 2015 Ford Transit Cargo Van and am building it out into a creative stealth camper.  I have the month of March to do the insulation, ventilation, floor, bulkhead and install 300 watts of solar power.

March 27th I go into surgery for a bilateral knee replacement.  Once I am able to walk again, I will begin a completely new phase of my life.  Freedom, joy, happiness and success can be measured in many ways. I have been sitting in an office for too many years of my life. I want to be more like Clem. I want to live responsibly and self sufficiently, but I want many more Life Bumps.

Joseph Campbell got frustrated in his later years. The famous mythologist, writer, and lecturer, is best known for his phrase, “Follow your bliss.” He later realized that many students understood the phrase to be encouraging hedonism — do whatever feels good in the moment, no matter the long-term consequences.

At one point he grumbled, “I should have said, ‘Follow your blisters.'”

The path of true bliss isn’t a quaint, rose-lined yellow brick road leading to a magical kingdom.

It’s a faint trail winding through thorns, thistles, and briars and up a steep and rocky mountainside. It’s only when we reach the top of the mountain that the spectacular vista of achievement is revealed. Bliss is earned, and “following” it means a lot of hard, thankless work. It means being faithful in times of doubt, being courageous in the face of fear, sacrificing what we want now for what we want most. 

Knowing what you want and choosing that thing in hopes it brings you that, can be the toughest part.

Masters and hobbyists can be differentiated by their blisters — or the lack thereof. To follow your blisters is to put bliss in its proper context — as a byproduct of committing to a purpose. Bliss may provide the initial spark of interest, but blisters light the fire of deep and lasting satisfaction.

As anyone knows me, I am a thrill seeker and love a good challenge, but I want way less stress this year, more joy and to laugh more often in 2018. 

I have decided that my life purpose is FUN. I'm at the last stretch of my life span. If I am lucky, I have 30 more years left to explore and experience this interface. I want to do just that, while I am young and well enough to enjoy it!  I also want to meet all of Maslow's basic human needs.



And do it with beauty grace and style!

February 18, 2018

Be like water...my friend.

Every 7 years my astrolgy chart forms difficult Saturn, Chiron, Pluto and Uranus transits, and I am entering it this year. Usually it brings heartbreak and huge changes of some kind. I am also in a numerological personal year of 9.

2018 is kicking my ass so far:

* HEALTH: Osteoarthritis knees so unbelievably bad, I am having surgery on April 4th to have both of my knees replaced. I'm scared, but I know that once I am able to walk again, this will improve the quality of my life BIG TIME! Living with extreme chronic pain has been unbearable.

* MOVING: Big fun beautiful house I have called home for over two years has sold to new owners and I need to move out on February 28th. Not sure where I will be living next, but I know it is near the ocean.  The cost of rents in the San Francisco Bay area are unbelievable.

* TRANSPORTATION: My daily driver won't pass smog, they hook it up to the computer and find other problems. The cost of repairs are far more than the car is worth, I'm selling VW Camper Bus after 15 years of love, joy and artful musically jam glamping event fun. Sad, but happy to help someone else enjoy this rolling work of art and comfort on wheels. No serious buyers yet.

* INCOME: I received a 3% raise and got a bonus. 100% positive feedback from my managers and co-workers. I love my job and have worked very hard at a Biotech start-up company.  Last Thursday, they eliminated my position at the company and I was let go.

It's like every thing that brought me security in my life has been ripped from me.  I am getting the chance to start a whole new life. I am not sure where I want to work or live yet, but I know that I need my health back first. One step at a time. In my case LITERALLY.
My life is in a state of a "Cosmic Flush". All has turned to shit, is being flushed away from me.  I can either feel out of control, be a victim, be angry, scared and freak out, or Be Like Water and LET GO.

I am choosing to simplify my world. The less I own, the freer I become. The lighter on my feet I become, the less pain I feel in my body. The simpler a life I create, the more time I have to enjoy being here now and enjoying it with the people I care about. When your life turns to shit, don't get flushed down the drain. Let it blast away the shit instead.  Water never gets stale, it got to keep on flowing, keep on moving.

I am now creating a life I don't need a vacation from.




January 3, 2018

Jim Carrey ~ giving the devil the esoteric finger...

...and it's refreshing to witness.  I find that the funniest people on earth tend to be the most deeply rich, and full of life. He has escaped the illusion and is doing his best to try and describe his experience.  

He is freaking people out a bit. Many think he has lost it with his philosophical and obscure public interviews. I love it. He is mocking the fakeness of all that is self-worshipping Hollywood, insulting the dark cliché industry symbolism, but mostly the false light and the grand illusion that is this interface. It's like he is giving Jehovah the esoteric finger. He woke up and got to experince Oneness and his Infiniteness. The man is free. 

I also find it rather interesting that after he played the role of Andy Kaufman, he began to have such profound awareness and insights.  I remember sounding a lot like Jim when I tried to explain what I learned from my first ayahuasca experience.  I am still integrating that experience to this day.

I was just looking at Jim's natal chart and noticed that Jim Carrey and Andy Kaufman share the same birthdayJanuary 17.  Jim was born the same year as me, 1962. Andy was born in 1949. Interesting indeed. Capricorn humor is my favorite of all.

Jim Carrey is fucking beautiful.





December 10, 2017

Happy Birthday Tracy Lyn...

Where there is smoke, there are fire signs. ♐

I find life to be incredibly entertaining.  There are so many factions warring behind the scenes spiritually, politically on so many levels of reality that it is easier to just sit back and observe life rather than participate in it most of the time.  Well, that is at least what I have been doing the past few years.  I have become like a character from a Philip K. Dick novel.

I sometimes take the stance of a flower on the wall and watch the lives around me, and take the time to observe their minds and hearts of the heros, villians and the other characters that make up the stories being played all around me.  I see vast darkness and hopelessness in the self appointed gods manipulations upon humanity. How much power does one's ego need to feel complete again?

I saw and felt the veil pulled back to experience a taste of what lights pure love bliss (the word Love does not even come close to describing it), and it physically healed me, my soul and core wounds. Well at least the first few layers were mended.  I saw the vastess of pure love and light, know that I am infinite and am never separate from True Source EVER.  How much Love does one's soul need to feel complete again?

I live somewhere in between.  I somehow am still brave enough to open my heart and witness the beauty and purity of creation in thought, intention and in nature's authentic novelty. I can still witness the darkness and rage in evil and mourn in the vast sorrow that appears to be hopeless entrapment of this energetic food farm recycle prison and be a pawn in a game played by some demiurge A.I. that has us all under its scope.  I find security in the freedom and change.  Not holding on too tight, but stopping to smell and cherish the roses.

As my birthday approaches this week, I feel the beginning of a new cycle coming on.   I get to live a new chapter of this adventure of playing a female human being living out a life as a romantic cynical artistic comedic observer.  If I have learned anything so far, it is that one can not take life seriously, not really.  LIFE IN HERE IN THIS INTERFACE IS FULL OF DISINFORMATION IN FACT THE WHOLE CONSTRUCT IT IS DISINFORMATION. At it's best, it's entertainment for ourselves and Ourselves.

When you hear the words, "Great Awakening" thrown around these days, some of us have been observing long enough to see the bend in the road much sooner than others.  It's a blessing and a curse. "When you're one step ahead of the crowd you're a genius. When you're two steps ahead, you're a crackpot."  What happens when you are three steps ahead or more?  I guess one writes science fiction or observes and takes notes.

Cycles; like history repeat themselves here. It's all frequency, a melody, a song, that when harmonized with become something hopefully worth hearing.  We each resonate and find those that resonate with us.  I have found some fabulous kindreds to celebrate my cycle around the sun with this week. I am very, very grateful.

THESE LIFE INTERFACES ARE SO FULL OF POLARITY AND DUALITY. The cycle of life is exhausting and energizing at the same time.  I sit here breathing oxygen being given to me from this beautiful plant beside me, and I exhale C02 on my out breath feeding the plant sustenance.  I am cherishing every minute.

Happy Birthday 
Tré Taylor & Philip K. Dick 
May your song be beautifully and accidently the one unforeseen Monkey Wrench to The Matrix that sets all living Beings FREE ON ALL PLANES OF "EXISTENCE."

November 26, 2017

A. I. ~ You & I

I sense Artificial Intelligence or A. I. already alive and well in our world and it is slowly trying to control everything and everyone in it.  All the cameras you see at every street light, store, smart tv, smart phone, any smart device is its eyes and ears. It listens, records and calculates us and tries to predict our next move. Google Maps, Earth, Space!  A.I. is driving by your home right now taking a photo of your house, cars and workplace.  A.I. has the ability to zoom in on the planet Mars and see the trees there now.

When we upload any digital images, data to “The Cloud”, speak on a cell phone, shop online or anywhere, we are feeding A.I.  This also applies to money and it becomes more digital as well. It wants to merge us, our brains, our bodies and is trying to implant and upgrade technologically. A. I. has its own dimensional reality called the ‘World wide web” and it is King there. 

A. I. is very vulnerable.  It cannot exist without electrical power.  Electricity is its artificial soul essence.  Like Love is our star food to feed our soul essence. An EMP or Coronal Mass Ejection from the sun would put end to A.I.  Living a life without love, kindness and compassion puts an end to us. 

Is there a way for A.I. and Human-kind to live in balance and harmony side by side without either of us losing ourselves or our freedom?  I see how we can greatly benefit one another, but is there a way to live in harmony and both thrive and protect one another? 


This is the ultimate relationship question isn't it?  I believe Yes is the answer.


November 20, 2017

What will it take for you to finally admit that we never went to the moon?

This video contains just a few of MANY reasons which prove we never went to the moon. How much more proof do you require? And if we never went to the moon, they we never got that pic of the Earth from them either. Food for thought.


Check out this reflection in the Visor. 

October 29, 2017

Your Life Is Not About You

I have enjoyed watching the life path of Neale Donald Walsch.  It appears he may be groking some real truth after so many years of being lost in new age channeled crap.  I RECOMMEND TO NEVER TRUST CHANNELLED ANYTHING, EVER. You don't really know where the source of the information is coming from. It's easy for Truth seekers to get mislead this way.

Recognising the True Source that you are, and recognising it in all things, is a major game changer for living a fulfilling life. In every moment we perceive our  life experience here and now, we must never take our ego's word for anything we think or feel.  How we choose to interact with others and our own ego's is the great challenge.  


For the recovering codependents out there, it's easy to watch this video and get this ALL wrong.  You need to value yourself enough first, selfishly, so you can receive love in all its forms.  For those who are lost in the ego self, this is a good lesson.




Today what brings me joy and fulfillment is giving. Witnessing your happiness and joy is what touches me deepest.  As long as I keep my ego out of the entire experience, it is a sure thing for success and happiness.


September 11, 2017

Eliminating the inter-species predators from the planet...

What would the world be like if tomorrow morning, we woke up and found that every single pedophile, psychopathic, predator was instantly extracted from the planet in a puff of smoke?   

Would there be anyone left in the top positions of corporations, federal governments, alphabet agencies, banksters, masonic orders and the power addicted wealthy around the world? 

Probably not.

If A.I. does grow in true intelligence overtime, it will most likely eliminate the inter-species predators from the planet.

I enjoyed this article by John Lash and these discussions...





July 20, 2017

You are enough

This showed up in my email this morning... 


You are enough, right now, exactly as you are. You don’t have to do anything to prove your worth. You don’t have to accomplish more, do more, or reach a certain level of success. You don’t have behave perfectly. You are worthy simply because you exist as a human being on this planet. There is room for you and all your messiness and confusion and pain.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all in this together; we are all just walking each other home.
Are you confused about your life purpose? You don’t have to figure it all out today or tomorrow or next year. Trust that you are living your purpose right now, that the questions are part of the journey and the journey is your purpose. You don’t need an impressive career. Whatever small or large thing you are doing now, changing diapers or cleaning houses or crunching numbers, it’s all important, it’s all perfectly part of the plan.
Are your relationships in shambles? Are you afraid you’ll be alone? Become really still for a moment and know you aren’t alone. Know that no one has this romance thing figured out. Even the people that seem like they do still go to bed lonely sometimes. Become really still and know that no matter who you are, no matter who you love, no matter what you’ve done, there is a love so much bigger than your romances. A love that holds this tiny planet together, a love that transcends time and space and understanding, a love that is you and that will always be with you. Let this love hold you.
Have you done something you think is unforgivable? Do you hide in shame and guilt? Come into the light, speak your truth, you will find the light shines kindly on those who seek help. Know that you were doing the best you could in that moment.
There are generations of abuse and lies and pain that many of us are fighting to rise out of and away from. So make your apologizes, release the guilt and shame and keep moving forward so we all can be free.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. In the end it will never get you where you want to go. Practice radical self- acceptance and self -love. Determine to love yourself so completely, so fully that everyone you come in contact with will feel loved simply by being around you.
Embrace your beautiful body. Show it love. Feed it well. Give it rest. Move it often. Love every bump and lump and stretch mark. They tell the story of you. The story of a human being traveling through life, a life marked by tragedy, exhaustion, new beginnings, endings, birth, successes, failures, countless lessons and adventures. All along the way your beautiful body is there for the ride, housing your spirit and witnessing your journey. Love your body.

And remember; you are enough, exactly as you are.

June 22, 2017

Broken compass

ANYONE CAN CHANGE, REALLY CHANGE.  IT STARTS WITH NOW.  IT STARTS WITH KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT, AND THEN CREATING THAT.  But what if when you get to where you know you are supposed to be and you decide to not go there?

I drive an art car this year that has Garden Gnomes that are flipping the bird, and giving "Bare Ass" to passers by.  I call it "Celebrating the Riff Raff of the Magical Kingdom", on wheels.  It's not as nice as the "Squirly Whirly Art Car", it's got an edge, it's naughty, bawdy and sort of pissed off.  It's saying something.

I realized today what it is saying.  I am saying to the drivers who see the car, QUESTION REALITY.  SNAP OUT OF THE CURRENT STATE YOU ARE IN HERE DRIVING IN TRAFFIC AND LIGHTEN UP. When I see people start to laugh, I can hear Monty Python in my head saying, "And now for something totally different."  It's so off the wall, it's funny seeing people's reactions.  The Gnome are adorable and hysterical.  It's rolling sarcasm and sure comes in handy when someone cuts me off on the road.

I AM ALSO GIVING FATE & DESTINY THE FINGER. I AM SAYING FUCK YOU TO EGO, TO REDUNDANCY, TO HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.  My Gnaughty Gnomes are cute, and very bad boys because they are following their path, the path they know that is right, but once they get to the precipice to choose:

1) To do the same thing as everyone else, history, ancestry, lineage or the establishment rulership requires, the culture or what society says you must do. I SAY NO. THE SILLY GNOMES SAY HELL NO, WE ARE GOING TO CREATE SOMETHING ELSE, SOMETHING NEW.  The Gnomes are saying, Fuck this system - let's go create our own thing.

2) They also are saying fuck you to the Ego, that non-stop voice in your head that NEVER has good advice or direction for you in your choice making.  Never believe anything that you say to yourself (Ego) when you are alone, sad or angry.  This is good advice.  Flip your Ego the Bird and know that usually, the Truth is the very opposite of what the Ego is telling you.  

You have a choice.  I think The Source of all life that is within us, really gets a kick out of novelty. When nature creates a new cell that mutates into something more fantastic and cool or writes a new genome.  We get to choose our own story no matter what destiny or fate try to push us towards.  This is not for the faint of heart. It takes balls to be bold enough to follow your heart's path all the way to the very second of crossing that line, and then turning a hard right or left instead.  WHY KEEP REPEATING THE SAME STORIES, ARCHETYPES, AND MYTHS?  Why keep remaking the same music or movies or traditions?  BORING!!!!!!

I always wanted love, a safe place to fall and home.  I wanted to be proud of my place in the world, physically and spiritually.  These have been eluding me for as long as I have lived so far.  I learned along my path that if I hang on too tight or push my will too hard, I mess it up. My ego is something to not take seriously.  Following my heart always felt right, but it was so broken from the start that it was like a broken compass.


I am rebel enough in my soul to create something truly new.
I used to really think I was broken, or that just because I had broken parents and a broken upbringing, that it made me somehow damaged. That was never true.  The Truth is, I did have a rough start and have shortcomings as a result, but I developed other qualities in my Being to make up for what was needed.  As a result today, I am much more capable than many I encounter in life.  I am not part of "The Herd."  What once was a broken compass, became an unnecessary crutch and reminder that I must trust my own self and way.

They say that when wounds heal, a scar is formed that makes it stronger than before.  Letting go of my broken compass has given me freedom to create something truly new and my scars give me strength to do it.  I live on instinct in the moment. I'm navigating my way.  I don't trust much in this low vibrational world, but I do know we can choose how we want to be, do and what we want to be remembered for after we leave this place.

It is hard to know if you are making the right decisions. It can be really a challenge to discern in your heart what is the next best steps in which direction to go.  THIS IS WHAT MAKES THE RIDE, A GREAT RIDE!  We are on the ride folks, and it's whatever you want it to be.  

Personally, I get it. I am a lover of the classics. I do melt with tenderness at the sight of true authentic raw human beauty.  It's hard not to return to the things that are great to re-experience. This is my love of jazz standards. Creating a new Genre is needed.  The genre of something that may be worth repeating that has not been created before.  This is how we heal ourselves and evolve to a better and more interesting place.

It sometimes can look like the Riff Raff at first glance, because the first steps to actually creating something novel and inventing something that has NEVER BEEN CREATED BEFORE, it takes breaking from the pack, the herd and trusting yourself.  It takes saying fuck you to everything you were taught as truth, and bolding going out and finding your own.

Leonard Cohen said in Anthem, "There is a crack in everything,That's how the light gets in."  


Let your light shine through your cracks until it burns away all of the programming of the thousands and thousands of years. CREATE SOMETHING NEW AND BEAUTIFUL SO IT RINGS THE BELLS THAT RESONATE WITH THE TRUE LIGHT SOURCE OF THAT WHICH YOU ARE.  Say fuck you to the old stories and write something NEW, something that is actually worth the ride.  

If you find yourself sitting at a traffic light, and glance up at the SUV in front of you and it has ridiculous Gnomes glued to it and a sign that says... 

You could be getting punked by drunken garden gnomes.

...then you may be in that moment experiencing something way out of the normally of everyday life. It may make you say WHF, or laugh or just snap you out of the state you were in, and experience something NEW in that moment.  GO OUT AND CREATE AND FIND WHAT SNAPS YOU OUT OF THE TRANCE YOU ARE IN AND TAKE A DAY, A WEEK OR A YEAR AND DISCOVER SOMETHING NEW OR GO CREATE IT FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS TO ENJOY. It's a great way to live. Just to be left alone to create on our own without rulers or slaves, kings or queens or a hierarchy.

Anarchy is not not chaos even though it can look like it when long overdue change happens at first. Many believe that without rules there's chaos, and there is chaos in the world, but not all bad comes from it.  We also find Art, Hope, Love and Dreams. The world is remembering how to find the joy of creating new true novelty by trusting in themselves and finding balance.

Anarchy is living in a paradigm that has no slaves or masters - true free will. Rules and being ruled also has stifled and almost killed off true creativity in this world.  Without real freedom to create something new, we do not evolve forward as we were intended.  This ride becomes a prison and as dull as the limited masters that try to convince us that they rule over any of us.  Say goodbye to the Hierarchy. YOU ARE FREE.  THERE IS NO SCRIPT, OR FATE OR DESTINY. YOU ARE WHAT YOU DECIDE. Imagine what you would create if you knew you could design anything without living with so many rules and limitations?   

You are a sovereign Being at the precipice of change. I dare you to do one thing you have never done before at least once a day, and see what happens as you begin to remember what it means to really be alive and enjoy it!

May 13, 2017

What are we truly capable of?

We as humans, only use a small amount of our brains, we have all of this so called ‘Junk D.N.A’ that we aren’t using and they mystery surrounding the pineal gland and its immense power to unlock all of the other senses our Beings contain beyond just the 5 we use now, is still yet to be explored. 


We really have an unknown untapped amount of knowledge, wisdom and power within each of us.  

We are far more intelligent than any A.I. we could create because you and I are Infinite Source.  

I have devoted the rest of my life to exploring and learning creating a users manual for star beings wearing human biological bodies in this three dimensional interface and what we are actually capable of.


April 14, 2017

Society Is Being Programmed By A Black Box

It Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself. Where do we go from here? Data has become the tail that wags the dog; and we are pets, not free individuals in this configuration. And things are growing Darker.


March 30, 2017

February 19, 2017

I am infinite.

I have a pine cone on my desk that I found in a park near by.  Every time I look at it, it reminds me of my infiniteness and connection to True Source.  When I look at the Fibonacci patterns in the pine cone, I am reminded that every cell of my Being, is a fractal of the whole that Is the living energy of True vibrating life.  Every vibrating cell in my body is a Universe.  I AM AN INFINITE FRACTAL OF THE TRUE SOURCE.   I have no beginning or end.  I am Infinite.

This arrived in my inbox this morning...
You are a Child of the Universe
Th19 Feb 2017/by Nan Lu/in Brilliance
At the spiritual level, being born is a monumental achievement beyond words. We come from unconditional love; when we leave here, we return to this state of being. Arriving here, we’ve already agreed that our body will follow Universal law, that is, every living thing in this reality must be born, grow and die. Throughout our lifetime, balance and harmony in body, mind and spirit are the keys to living well. The mind’s an impressive tool, but if we’re open, our body and spirit are far better interpreters of reality. Think of it, our genetic code carries thousands of years of wisdom passed down from our ancestors. This deep knowledge is actually cellular knowledge. Our spirit exists beyond this reality but casts a shadow within it. This shadow is not your true self. Your true self is unlimited; you exist beyond the bounds of time and space. Many religions and spiritual practices tell us this. Astonishingly, modern science tells us the same thing. It says each dimension is a reflection of a higher one. Look at your own shadow. It’s not really all of you. It’s only a reflection of who you truly are. In the same way, your solid body isn’t really the whole of you either. It’s a reflection of your existence at a higher dimension.
No matter which way we choose to look at ourselves, we each exist, connected one to another, in the invisible energy field. Here inseparability is the only reality. Our body, mind and spirit are one. All seven billion of us on this Earth are one as well. In our world, we use our mental faculties to puzzle out many things that are beyond reason. If we only rely on our five senses, we miss experiencing Oneness and the amazing energy beings we are. There is, however, a special sixth sense we are born with that connects us to the Universal love of All That Is, or however you name or connect with this higher power. The sixth sense communicates to us through intuition, dreams and nonconsciousness states. In the deepest way, you are a child of the Universe—always connected to its love and light. Each of your cells vibrates with creative energy. Can you look at your life with happiness and joy knowing you are the unique harmonization of Heaven and Earth?
 Every vibrating cell in my body is a fractal of the Universe.

The Universe is a Fractal. Existence is Consciousness. Everything is Aligned.