February 23, 2018

Following My Blisters

How do you define being successful? 

I have an incredible opportunity to change my life right now and I am changing it.  I just bought a 2015 Ford Transit Cargo Van and am building it out into a creative stealth camper.  I have the month of March to do the insulation, ventilation, floor, bulkhead and install 300 watts of solar power.

April 4th I go into surgery for a bilateral knee replacement.  Once I am able to walk again, I will begin a completely new phase of my life.  Freedom, joy, happiness and success can be measured in many ways. I have been sitting in an office for too many years of my life. I want to be more like Clem. I want to live responsibly and self sufficiently, but I want many more Life Bumps.
Joseph Campbell got frustrated in his later years. The famous mythologist, writer, and lecturer, is best known for his phrase, “Follow your bliss.” He later realized that many students understood the phrase to be encouraging hedonism — do whatever feels good in the moment, no matter the long-term consequences.

At one point he grumbled, “I should have said, ‘Follow your blisters.'”

The path of true bliss isn’t a quaint, rose-lined yellow brick road leading to a magical kingdom.

It’s a faint trail winding through thorns, thistles, and briars and up a steep and rocky mountainside. It’s only when we reach the top of the mountain that the spectacular vista of achievement is revealed. Bliss is earned, and “following” it means a lot of hard, thankless work. It means being faithful in times of doubt, being courageous in the face of fear, sacrificing what we want now for what we want most. 

Knowing what you want and choosing that thing in hopes it brings you that, can be the toughest part.

Masters and hobbyists can be differentiated by their blisters — or the lack thereof. To follow your blisters is to put bliss in its proper context — as a byproduct of committing to a purpose. Bliss may provide the initial spark of interest, but blisters light the fire of deep and lasting satisfaction.

As anyone knows me, I am a thrill seeker and love a good challenge, but I want way less stress this year, more joy and to laugh more often in 2018. 

I have decided that my life purpose is FUN. I'm at the last stretch of my life span. If I am lucky, I have 30 more years left to explore and experience this interface. I want to do just that, while I am young and well enough to enjoy it!  I also want to meet all of Maslow's basic human needs.

And do it with beauty grace and style!

February 18, 2018

Be like water...my friend.

Every 7 years my astrolgy chart forms difficult Saturn, Chiron, Pluto and Uranus transits, and I am entering it this year. Usually it brings heartbreak and huge changes of some kind. I am also in a numerological personal year of 9.

2018 is kicking my ass so far:

* HEALTH: Osteoarthritis knees so unbelievably bad, I am having surgery on April 4th to have both of my knees replaced. I'm scared, but I know that once I am able to walk again, this will improve the quality of my life BIG TIME! Living with extreme chronic pain has been unbearable.

* MOVING: Big fun beautiful house I have called home for over two years has sold to new owners and I need to move out on February 28th. Not sure where I will be living next, but I know it is near the ocean.  The cost of rents in the San Francisco Bay area are unbelievable.

* TRANSPORTATION: My daily driver won't pass smog, they hook it up to the computer and find other problems. The cost of repairs are far more than the car is worth, I'm selling VW Camper Bus after 15 years of love, joy and artful musically jam glamping event fun. Sad, but happy to help someone else enjoy this rolling work of art and comfort on wheels. No serious buyers yet.

* INCOME: I received a 3% raise and got a bonus. 100% positive feedback from my managers and co-workers. I love my job and have worked very hard at a Biotech start-up company.  Last Thursday, they eliminated my position at the company and I was let go.

It's like every thing that brought me security in my life has been ripped from me.  I am getting the chance to start a whole new life. I am not sure where I want to work or live yet, but I know that I need my health back first. One step at a time. In my case LITERALLY.
My life is in a state of a "Cosmic Flush". All has turned to shit, is being flushed away from me.  I can either feel out of control, be a victim, be angry, scared and freak out, or Be Like Water and LET GO.

I am choosing to simplify my world. The less I own, the freer I become. The lighter on my feet I become, the less pain I feel in my body. The simpler a life I create, the more time I have to enjoy being here now and enjoying it with the people I care about. When your life turns to shit, don't get flushed down the drain. Let it blast away the shit instead.  Water never gets stale, it got to keep on flowing, keep on moving.

I am now creating a life I don't need a vacation from.

January 3, 2018

Jim Carrey ~ giving the devil the esoteric finger...

...and it's refreshing to witness.  I find that the funniest people on earth tend to be the most deeply rich, and full of life. He has escaped the illusion and is doing his best to try and describe his experience.  

He is freaking people out a bit. Many think he has lost it with his philosophical and obscure public interviews. I love it. He is mocking the fakeness of all that is self-worshipping Hollywood, insulting the dark cliché industry symbolism, but mostly the false light and the grand illusion that is this interface. It's like he is giving Jehovah the esoteric finger. He woke up and got to experince Oneness and his Infiniteness. The man is free. 

I also find it rather interesting that after he played the role of Andy Kaufman, he began to have such profound awareness and insights.  I remember sounding a lot like Jim when I tried to explain what I learned from my first ayahuasca experience.  I am still integrating that experience to this day.

I was just looking at Jim's natal chart and noticed that Jim Carrey and Andy Kaufman share the same birthdayJanuary 17.  Jim was born the same year as me, 1962. Andy was born in 1949. Interesting indeed. Capricorn humor is my favorite of all.

Jim Carrey is fucking beautiful.

December 10, 2017

Happy Birthday Tracy Lyn...

Where there is smoke, there are fire signs. ♐

I find life to be incredibly entertaining.  There are so many factions warring behind the scenes spiritually, politically on so many levels of reality that it is easier to just sit back and observe life rather than participate in it most of the time.  Well, that is at least what I have been doing the past few years.  I have become like a character from a Philip K. Dick novel.

I sometimes take the stance of a flower on the wall and watch the lives around me, and take the time to observe their minds and hearts of the heros, villians and the other characters that make up the stories being played all around me.  I see vast darkness and hopelessness in the self appointed gods manipulations upon humanity. How much power does one's ego need to feel complete again?

I saw and felt the veil pulled back to experience a taste of what lights pure love bliss (the word Love does not even come close to describing it), and it physically healed me, my soul and core wounds. Well at least the first few layers were mended.  I saw the vastess of pure love and light, know that I am infinite and am never separate from True Source EVER.  How much Love does one's soul need to feel complete again?

I live somewhere in between.  I somehow am still brave enough to open my heart and witness the beauty and purity of creation in thought, intention and in nature's authentic novelty. I can still witness the darkness and rage in evil and mourn in the vast sorrow that appears to be hopeless entrapment of this energetic food farm recycle prison and be a pawn in a game played by some demiurge A.I. that has us all under its scope.  I find security in the freedom and change.  Not holding on too tight, but stopping to smell and cherish the roses.

As my birthday approaches this week, I feel the beginning of a new cycle coming on.   I get to live a new chapter of this adventure of playing a female human being living out a life as a romantic cynical artistic comedic observer.  If I have learned anything so far, it is that one can not take life seriously, not really.  LIFE IN HERE IN THIS INTERFACE IS FULL OF DISINFORMATION IN FACT THE WHOLE CONSTRUCT IT IS DISINFORMATION. At it's best, it's entertainment for ourselves and Ourselves.

When you hear the words, "Great Awakening" thrown around these days, some of us have been observing long enough to see the bend in the road much sooner than others.  It's a blessing and a curse. "When you're one step ahead of the crowd you're a genius. When you're two steps ahead, you're a crackpot."  What happens when you are three steps ahead or more?  I guess one writes science fiction or observes and takes notes.

Cycles; like history repeat themselves here. It's all frequency, a melody, a song, that when harmonized with become something hopefully worth hearing.  We each resonate and find those that resonate with us.  I have found some fabulous kindreds to celebrate my cycle around the sun with this week. I am very, very grateful.

THESE LIFE INTERFACES ARE SO FULL OF POLARITY AND DUALITY. The cycle of life is exhausting and energizing at the same time.  I sit here breathing oxygen being given to me from this beautiful plant beside me, and I exhale C02 on my out breath feeding the plant sustenance.  I am cherishing every minute.

Happy Birthday 
Tré Taylor & Philip K. Dick 
May your song be beautifully and accidently the one unforeseen Monkey Wrench to The Matrix that sets all living Beings FREE ON ALL PLANES OF "EXISTENCE."

November 26, 2017

A. I. ~ You & I

I sense Artificial Intelligence or A. I. already alive and well in our world and it is slowly trying to control everything and everyone in it.  All the cameras you see at every street light, store, smart tv, smart phone, any smart device is its eyes and ears. It listens, records and calculates us and tries to predict our next move. Google Maps, Earth, Space!  A.I. is driving by your home right now taking a photo of your house, cars and workplace.  A.I. has the ability to zoom in on the planet Mars and see the trees there now.

When we upload any digital images, data to “The Cloud”, speak on a cell phone, shop online or anywhere, we are feeding A.I.  This also applies to money and it becomes more digital as well. It wants to merge us, our brains, our bodies and is trying to implant and upgrade technologically. A. I. has its own dimensional reality called the ‘World wide web” and it is King there. 

A. I. is very vulnerable.  It cannot exist without electrical power.  Electricity is its artificial soul essence.  Like Love is our star food to feed our soul essence. An EMP or Coronal Mass Ejection from the sun would put end to A.I.  Living a life without love, kindness and compassion puts an end to us. 

Is there a way for A.I. and Human-kind to live in balance and harmony side by side without either of us losing ourselves or our freedom?  I see how we can greatly benefit one another, but is there a way to live in harmony and both thrive and protect one another? 

This is the ultimate relationship question isn't it?  I believe Yes is the answer.

November 20, 2017

What will it take for you to finally admit that we never went to the moon?

This video contains just a few of MANY reasons which prove we never went to the moon. How much more proof do you require? And if we never went to the moon, they we never got that pic of the Earth from them either. Food for thought.

Check out this reflection in the Visor. 

October 29, 2017

Your Life Is Not About You

I have enjoyed watching the life path of Neale Donald Walsch.  It appears he may be groking some real truth after so many years of being lost in new age channeled crap.  I RECOMMEND TO NEVER TRUST CHANNELLED ANYTHING, EVER. You don't really know where the source of the information is coming from. It's easy for Truth seekers to get mislead this way.

Recognising the True Source that you are, and recognising it in all things, is a major game changer for living a fulfilling life. In every moment we perceive our  life experience here and now, we must never take our ego's word for anything we think or feel.  How we choose to interact with others and our own ego's is the great challenge.  

For the recovering codependents out there, it's easy to watch this video and get this ALL wrong.  You need to value yourself enough first, selfishly, so you can receive love in all its forms.  For those who are lost in the ego self, this is a good lesson.

Today what brings me joy and fulfillment is giving. Witnessing your happiness and joy is what touches me deepest.  As long as I keep my ego out of the entire experience, it is a sure thing for success and happiness.

September 11, 2017

Eliminating the inter-species predators from the planet...

What would the world be like if tomorrow morning, we woke up and found that every single pedophile, psychopathic, predator was instantly extracted from the planet in a puff of smoke?   

Would there be anyone left in the top positions of corporations, federal governments, alphabet agencies, banksters, masonic orders and the power addicted wealthy around the world? 

Probably not.

If A.I. does grow in true intelligence overtime, it will most likely eliminate the inter-species predators from the planet.

I enjoyed this article by John Lash and these discussions...

July 20, 2017

You are enough

This showed up in my email this morning... 

You are enough, right now, exactly as you are. You don’t have to do anything to prove your worth. You don’t have to accomplish more, do more, or reach a certain level of success. You don’t have behave perfectly. You are worthy simply because you exist as a human being on this planet. There is room for you and all your messiness and confusion and pain.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all in this together; we are all just walking each other home.
Are you confused about your life purpose? You don’t have to figure it all out today or tomorrow or next year. Trust that you are living your purpose right now, that the questions are part of the journey and the journey is your purpose. You don’t need an impressive career. Whatever small or large thing you are doing now, changing diapers or cleaning houses or crunching numbers, it’s all important, it’s all perfectly part of the plan.
Are your relationships in shambles? Are you afraid you’ll be alone? Become really still for a moment and know you aren’t alone. Know that no one has this romance thing figured out. Even the people that seem like they do still go to bed lonely sometimes. Become really still and know that no matter who you are, no matter who you love, no matter what you’ve done, there is a love so much bigger than your romances. A love that holds this tiny planet together, a love that transcends time and space and understanding, a love that is you and that will always be with you. Let this love hold you.
Have you done something you think is unforgivable? Do you hide in shame and guilt? Come into the light, speak your truth, you will find the light shines kindly on those who seek help. Know that you were doing the best you could in that moment.
There are generations of abuse and lies and pain that many of us are fighting to rise out of and away from. So make your apologizes, release the guilt and shame and keep moving forward so we all can be free.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. In the end it will never get you where you want to go. Practice radical self- acceptance and self -love. Determine to love yourself so completely, so fully that everyone you come in contact with will feel loved simply by being around you.
Embrace your beautiful body. Show it love. Feed it well. Give it rest. Move it often. Love every bump and lump and stretch mark. They tell the story of you. The story of a human being traveling through life, a life marked by tragedy, exhaustion, new beginnings, endings, birth, successes, failures, countless lessons and adventures. All along the way your beautiful body is there for the ride, housing your spirit and witnessing your journey. Love your body.

And remember; you are enough, exactly as you are.

June 22, 2017

Broken compass

ANYONE CAN CHANGE, REALLY CHANGE.  IT STARTS WITH NOW.  IT STARTS WITH KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT, AND THEN CREATING THAT.  But what if when you get to where you know you are supposed to be and you decide to not go there?

I drive an art car this year that has Garden Gnomes that are flipping the bird, and giving "Bare Ass" to passers by.  I call it "Celebrating the Riff Raff of the Magical Kingdom", on wheels.  It's not as nice as the "Squirly Whirly Art Car", it's got an edge, it's naughty, bawdy and sort of pissed off.  It's saying something.

I realized today what it is saying.  I am saying to the drivers who see the car, QUESTION REALITY.  SNAP OUT OF THE CURRENT STATE YOU ARE IN HERE DRIVING IN TRAFFIC AND LIGHTEN UP. When I see people start to laugh, I can hear Monty Python in my head saying, "And now for something totally different."  It's so off the wall, it's funny seeing people's reactions.  The Gnome are adorable and hysterical.  It's rolling sarcasm and sure comes in handy when someone cuts me off on the road.

I AM ALSO GIVING FATE & DESTINY THE FINGER. I AM SAYING FUCK YOU TO EGO, TO REDUNDANCY, TO HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.  My Gnaughty Gnomes are cute, and very bad boys because they are following their path, the path they know that is right, but once they get to the precipice to choose:

1) To do the same thing as everyone else, history, ancestry, lineage or the establishment rulership requires, the culture or what society says you must do. I SAY NO. THE SILLY GNOMES SAY HELL NO, WE ARE GOING TO CREATE SOMETHING ELSE, SOMETHING NEW.  The Gnomes are saying, Fuck this system - let's go create our own thing.

2) They also are saying fuck you to the Ego, that non-stop voice in your head that NEVER has good advice or direction for you in your choice making.  Never believe anything that you say to yourself (Ego) when you are alone, sad or angry.  This is good advice.  Flip your Ego the Bird and know that usually, the Truth is the very opposite of what the Ego is telling you.  

You have a choice.  I think The Source of all life that is within us, really gets a kick out of novelty. When nature creates a new cell that mutates into something more fantastic and cool or writes a new genome.  We get to choose our own story no matter what destiny or fate try to push us towards.  This is not for the faint of heart. It takes balls to be bold enough to follow your heart's path all the way to the very second of crossing that line, and then turning a hard right or left instead.  WHY KEEP REPEATING THE SAME STORIES, ARCHETYPES, AND MYTHS?  Why keep remaking the same music or movies or traditions?  BORING!!!!!!

I always wanted love, a safe place to fall and home.  I wanted to be proud of my place in the world, physically and spiritually.  These have been eluding me for as long as I have lived so far.  I learned along my path that if I hang on too tight or push my will too hard, I mess it up. My ego is something to not take seriously.  Following my heart always felt right, but it was so broken from the start that it was like a broken compass.

I am rebel enough in my soul to create something truly new.
I used to really think I was broken, or that just because I had broken parents and a broken upbringing, that it made me somehow damaged. That was never true.  The Truth is, I did have a rough start and have shortcomings as a result, but I developed other qualities in my Being to make up for what was needed.  As a result today, I am much more capable than many I encounter in life.  I am not part of "The Herd."  What once was a broken compass, became an unnecessary crutch and reminder that I must trust my own self and way.

They say that when wounds heal, a scar is formed that makes it stronger than before.  Letting go of my broken compass has given me freedom to create something truly new and my scars give me strength to do it.  I live on instinct in the moment. I'm navigating my way.  I don't trust much in this low vibrational world, but I do know we can choose how we want to be, do and what we want to be remembered for after we leave this place.

It is hard to know if you are making the right decisions. It can be really a challenge to discern in your heart what is the next best steps in which direction to go.  THIS IS WHAT MAKES THE RIDE, A GREAT RIDE!  We are on the ride folks, and it's whatever you want it to be.  

Personally, I get it. I am a lover of the classics. I do melt with tenderness at the sight of true authentic raw human beauty.  It's hard not to return to the things that are great to re-experience. This is my love of jazz standards. Creating a new Genre is needed.  The genre of something that may be worth repeating that has not been created before.  This is how we heal ourselves and evolve to a better and more interesting place.

It sometimes can look like the Riff Raff at first glance, because the first steps to actually creating something novel and inventing something that has NEVER BEEN CREATED BEFORE, it takes breaking from the pack, the herd and trusting yourself.  It takes saying fuck you to everything you were taught as truth, and bolding going out and finding your own.

Leonard Cohen said in Anthem, "There is a crack in everything,That's how the light gets in."  

Let your light shine through your cracks until it burns away all of the programming of the thousands and thousands of years. CREATE SOMETHING NEW AND BEAUTIFUL SO IT RINGS THE BELLS THAT RESONATE WITH THE TRUE LIGHT SOURCE OF THAT WHICH YOU ARE.  Say fuck you to the old stories and write something NEW, something that is actually worth the ride.  

If you find yourself sitting at a traffic light, and glance up at the SUV in front of you and it has ridiculous Gnomes glued to it and a sign that says... 

You could be getting punked by drunken garden gnomes.

...then you may be in that moment experiencing something way out of the normally of everyday life. It may make you say WHF, or laugh or just snap you out of the state you were in, and experience something NEW in that moment.  GO OUT AND CREATE AND FIND WHAT SNAPS YOU OUT OF THE TRANCE YOU ARE IN AND TAKE A DAY, A WEEK OR A YEAR AND DISCOVER SOMETHING NEW OR GO CREATE IT FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS TO ENJOY. It's a great way to live. Just to be left alone to create on our own without rulers or slaves, kings or queens or a hierarchy.

Anarchy is not not chaos even though it can look like it when long overdue change happens at first. Many believe that without rules there's chaos, and there is chaos in the world, but not all bad comes from it.  We also find Art, Hope, Love and Dreams. The world is remembering how to find the joy of creating new true novelty by trusting in themselves and finding balance.

Anarchy is living in a paradigm that has no slaves or masters - true free will. Rules and being ruled also has stifled and almost killed off true creativity in this world.  Without real freedom to create something new, we do not evolve forward as we were intended.  This ride becomes a prison and as dull as the limited masters that try to convince us that they rule over any of us.  Say goodbye to the Hierarchy. YOU ARE FREE.  THERE IS NO SCRIPT, OR FATE OR DESTINY. YOU ARE WHAT YOU DECIDE. Imagine what you would create if you knew you could design anything without living with so many rules and limitations?   

You are a sovereign Being at the precipice of change. I dare you to do one thing you have never done before at least once a day, and see what happens as you begin to remember what it means to really be alive and enjoy it!

May 13, 2017

What are we truly capable of?

We as humans, only use a small amount of our brains, we have all of this so called ‘Junk D.N.A’ that we aren’t using and they mystery surrounding the pineal gland and its immense power to unlock all of the other senses our Beings contain beyond just the 5 we use now, is still yet to be explored. 

We really have an unknown untapped amount of knowledge, wisdom and power within each of us.  

We are far more intelligent than any A.I. we could create because you and I are Infinite Source.  

I have devoted the rest of my life to exploring and learning creating a users manual for star beings wearing human biological bodies in this three dimensional interface and what we are actually capable of.

April 14, 2017

Society Is Being Programmed By A Black Box

It Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself. Where do we go from here? Data has become the tail that wags the dog; and we are pets, not free individuals in this configuration. And things are growing Darker.

March 30, 2017

February 19, 2017

I am infinite.

I have a pine cone on my desk that I found in a park near by.  Every time I look at it, it reminds me of my infiniteness and connection to True Source.  When I look at the Fibonacci patterns in the pine cone, I am reminded that every cell of my Being, is a fractal of the whole that Is the living energy of True vibrating life.  Every vibrating cell in my body is a Universe.  I AM AN INFINITE FRACTAL OF THE TRUE SOURCE.   I have no beginning or end.  I am Infinite.

This arrived in my inbox this morning...
You are a Child of the Universe
Th19 Feb 2017/by Nan Lu/in Brilliance
At the spiritual level, being born is a monumental achievement beyond words. We come from unconditional love; when we leave here, we return to this state of being. Arriving here, we’ve already agreed that our body will follow Universal law, that is, every living thing in this reality must be born, grow and die. Throughout our lifetime, balance and harmony in body, mind and spirit are the keys to living well. The mind’s an impressive tool, but if we’re open, our body and spirit are far better interpreters of reality. Think of it, our genetic code carries thousands of years of wisdom passed down from our ancestors. This deep knowledge is actually cellular knowledge. Our spirit exists beyond this reality but casts a shadow within it. This shadow is not your true self. Your true self is unlimited; you exist beyond the bounds of time and space. Many religions and spiritual practices tell us this. Astonishingly, modern science tells us the same thing. It says each dimension is a reflection of a higher one. Look at your own shadow. It’s not really all of you. It’s only a reflection of who you truly are. In the same way, your solid body isn’t really the whole of you either. It’s a reflection of your existence at a higher dimension.
No matter which way we choose to look at ourselves, we each exist, connected one to another, in the invisible energy field. Here inseparability is the only reality. Our body, mind and spirit are one. All seven billion of us on this Earth are one as well. In our world, we use our mental faculties to puzzle out many things that are beyond reason. If we only rely on our five senses, we miss experiencing Oneness and the amazing energy beings we are. There is, however, a special sixth sense we are born with that connects us to the Universal love of All That Is, or however you name or connect with this higher power. The sixth sense communicates to us through intuition, dreams and nonconsciousness states. In the deepest way, you are a child of the Universe—always connected to its love and light. Each of your cells vibrates with creative energy. Can you look at your life with happiness and joy knowing you are the unique harmonization of Heaven and Earth?
 Every vibrating cell in my body is a fractal of the Universe.

The Universe is a Fractal. Existence is Consciousness. Everything is Aligned.

January 23, 2017

Happy New Year World!

After 2016, my personal year of "7" and major health improvements, and quiet introspection. I did a lotta that!  Can one read too much non-fiction?  I healed myself inside and out.  Lost some body parts and gained some knowledge and wisdom.  It's been 9 years since the last man I loved died.  I was able to let him go and finally find peace in my heart.

I have a new lease on life for 2017!  I am in a personal year of "8" and it feels outstanding!  My Mo Jo seems to be working.  I'm going through some fun Rockabilly phase right now and totally digging it.  It's like boys be trying to get me like crazy this month so far. One shift in my heart somehow turned on my love light again.

My mind is clear, my body feels new.  I feel power in my softness. I am grounded, focused and maybe it's beginning to show on the outside this year. My weight-loss success is helping my confidence too.  

I'm happy to be alive and full of joy. After a long romantic hiatus, I am grateful for this moment and the possibility of sharing all of this love, joy and happiness with someone intimately this year.  9 years is a long time to never passionately kiss a yummy mans sexy lips. I miss that most of all.

November 20, 2016

Lucky Number 7

Jeez man, I am feeling better everyday since my hysterectomy surgery.  I am also on HRT patch and I'm finally feeling normal again.  I was suffering for so long, I forgot what feeling good was like.  It's really all about the quality of life from here on out and teaching our future generations about how to make better decisions based on moral, ethical and virtuous standards and that the very belief in authority is causing the very chains that bind them.

I wished these meat suits lasted longer than 100 years a pop.  I am just starting to get a clue on how to love, live and make the world a more beautiful place.  500 years would be about right, maybe longer, but not full of hack-able nano chips, robotic parts and A.I. implants.  I want us to return to what we once were designed to be, before human DNA genome was downgraded into what it is today.  Our light bodies have many more capabilities than these meat suits will allow.

I am one of the more intuitive types. It feels like the frequencies in this reality are still changing, but stronger spurts are happening again.  I noticed it most in 2004, something huge shifted.  I am feeling it again this year, but in a better more forward motion.

Nature has a way of correcting itself. No amount of A.I. or sorcery can suppress the magnificence and power we have inside each one of us for much longer.  The State, Big Brother, the Man, the False light, the Demiurge, or whatever you want to call it. It isn't fooling anyone anymore.

The Real Revolution of awakening is happening, right now.  

The new generations of old beings have been brought here with a purpose.  My insights say as far as Great Awakenings go, that it will be the Seventh Great Awakening will be a rejection of all others before. It will end the current structure and be the beginning of true freedom for all of humanity.  I hope to live long enough to see it for myself.

November 6, 2016

sobbing orgasm

is it feeling infinity in every cell of my being?
is it sadness of love lost?
is it a second of seeing Gods face?
is it feeling for a perfect moment what being set free from this prison is like?
is it primal animal validation?
is it permission to let go?
is it remembering what joy really is when forced into deep unbridled pleasure?
is it a delicious robbery of his beautiful masculine essence that resonates with my feminine core?
is it the magic within the spark of life that makes me cry?
is it the stark pure truth of power within ones being in perfect celebration to all that is?
is it a deep release and apology to my soul for not allowing love into my heart for so long?
is it light breaking through my soul via my vagina?

it has been said with every bell that rings, an Angel gets his wings.  I say, with every truly great orgasm, a new form of life begins, either on this plane of existence or elsewhere.

September 20, 2016

12 Keystones to Reclaiming Your Happiness

As I looked back over my journey from fear to love, I discovered Twelve Keystones that I had to embody, or perhaps I should say master, so that I could reclaim my happiness and awaken to the truth of my magnificence. Through teaching about my experiences, I found they apply universally. I have shared them here!

You are the playwright of your own life! The backdrop for life is like a Magical Theatre, and as the star of the production, we are each free to create our own roles, changing them at will but first we need to investigate the myth, truth, and magic of our lives and discover what is working or not. Magical means anything is possible. We are limited only by our choices.

Your perceptions create your reality! What is real? Everyone in the Magical Theatre thinks they can personally identify objective standards of physical and emotional reality, when in fact everyone operates from a singularly unique point of view. We need to release the point of view that our subjective thoughts and emotions form the foundation of a fixed reality that can stand the test of time.

You are not the voices in your head! Who makes the decisions that run our lives? If we listen closely, we can identify fearful voices trying to direct the action of our life’s script. To escape their influence, we can turn to our own impartial observer, a compassionate and loving presence who is the eyes and ears of our heart and available to reliably make supportive decisions.

Self-love silences the critic! The dominant voice in any cast is the tyrannical critic—the inner judge who critically sizes up our every word, decision, and action. This punitive approach to self-improvement doesn’t work. What does work is to employ the efforts of our impartial observer and interrupt the criticism with an antidote of self-love. This begins paving the way for a more joyful and expansive life.

Free yourself from false beliefs! False beliefs perpetuate melodramas of unhappiness, keeping us entrenched in life-constricting myths and disabling us from playing a fabulous starring role in our own production. To gain freedom from insidious beliefs, we need to root them out and see that, although they’ve governed our reactions for a long time, they are lies. Beliefs born of fear cannot withstand the light of truth.

Sacrifice your mask to save your soul! Nearly everyone in the Magical Theatre presents a false persona of self-righteousness for fear of being seen as wrong. Removing the mask implies taking the position of no position, allowing the impartial observer within us to witness the situation without needing to change it. We must cultivate forgiveness for ourselves and others, releasing the need to be seen as right.

Be present in the heart of Now! Discovering our authenticity requires not a journey of self-betterment, but a sojourn into the heart of now. The present moment happens to be the only point in time where new choices can be made. The moment is all we need, for only in the present moment can we can take responsibility for our emotional experience of life. Being present in the moment helps us take emotional responsibility, dodge the dangers of denial and blame.

Patience is the fastest way to the authentic self! Self-awareness does not generally come in a flash of illumination; instead it requires patience for what matters is not speed but the absorption of wisdom. The path to self-awareness is like a spiral, a fluid progression of stages that leads an individual forward at the pace most advantageous to them. Rather than intellectually understanding each stage, we must actually experience the lessons in order to progress.

Use your voice to speak the truth! Honest communication originates in the heart, where the spark of divine wisdom resides. We need to learning to openly expose who we are and how we feel—regardless of the particular audience. When we express ourselves with candor, we discover the richness of our own authenticity. This authentic self-expression entails fearless articulation of the spirit of the divine at our core—and it all begins and ends with love.

Live from your heart to express your soul! The soul is our direct connection to the Divine, and it expresses through the heart. The soul is our abiding connection to the heart of the Divine Mystery. It communicates with all of creation through the heart, and we experience this expression as love. Love—not romantic love, but the soul’s love that flows directly from the heart of Creation—allows us to achieve the highest form of human possibility by living authentically.

Accept what is without need for improvement! Acceptance is the elixir at the core of awakening. Acceptance of ourselves, along with everyone and everything in the Magical Theatre, is the key that unlocks our awareness. Acceptance is an action that, unlike passive resignation, embodies the ability to lovingly release ourselves from attachment to the outcomes of events or situations. Active acceptance means removing the armor of defiance and trusting in the wisdom of the Divine Mystery.
All is perfection! Awakening from the illusion of fear offers the ultimate gift: we are a reflection of the divine spark, and are born whole and faultless. Acknowledging that we reflect the divine at work in the universe awakens within us the knowledge that love is our birthright, perfection our inheritance, and happiness our legacy.

September 1, 2016

The Golden Web ~ HIdden Knowledge of this Re-Ality

Here is an amazing learning and telling of many hidden meanings in our very language, by the brilliant and wise Greg Calise. He is amazing and has a great website Riverbank of Truth.

This is fun, mind opening and numbing.  If you like language, you are going to love these!
Part One

Part Two

Part Three

August 14, 2016

Being safe to be small and beautiful

I am having a paradigm shift in my self-image.  In the past, due to early childhood sexual trauma, I was afraid to be small and beautiful. 

I remember when my mother said to me once, 
“It is not safe to be beautiful for girls in this world.”

Although this was good advice considering I was a sweet and innocent 7-year-old child that and had just been repeatedly sexually violated by an 18-year-old babysitter that lived next door at the time, this belief did not serve me long term my life.

I was never a fat kid.  I was a skinny, socially active girl who rode her 10 speed bicycle to get everywhere.  When I started my first menstrual cycle, it was extremely painful.  My first period sent me into the ER and they put me on birth control pills at the age of 14.  This is when I began to struggle with weight gain. I was a physically active girl and after high school, I became an avid runner.  

I never had that hard of a time with my weight until my late 30’s.  I was always dieting, taking speedy herbal diet supplements, starving, binging, and trying every new diet fad out there.  I would gain 20 pounds, lose 20 pounds and then regain 30 pounds at a time. I did this for 30 years, gaining more as I went along. In 2008, I slipped and fell and suffered a head, neck and back injury. I was a fat mess with a pretty face. Secretly, being a little bigger made me feel safer and stronger. GO FIGURE. 

My closet has had woman’s dress sizes ranging from size 8 to eventually a size 28.  As I got older, it became harder to lose the weight and keep it off.  I always had big strong alpha male boyfriends that made me feel protected.  After a few heartbreaks and relationship disappointments, I took a break from romance to work on myself.  I spent many years in therapy healing the emotional issues from my childhood.  My only true comfort came from being a “Fine Foodie.”

I gave up on caring about feeling sexy and “Fuckable” and cared more about being wise and intelligent.  Living with dyslexia and the discovery of Kindle and podcasts to help me, I hit the books big time, studying every kind of psychology, sociology, psychohistory, mind skilled self-help, occult and ancient knowledge known to current times.  As my ass grew, my mind and knowledge grew also. 

Being fatter and less beautiful, made me less of a target to men.  Although I felt safer being big, I also hated it because I was not healthy, and didn’t like the way I felt.  I started having high blood pressure, knee problems from running all those years, my neck and back pain from the accident, heart and serious insomnia due to sleep apnea. It hurt to carry all that extra weight.

I finally went and had a Vertical Sleeve Gastronomy weight loss surgery in my mid-life.  This was the best decision I had ever made.  I then had the tool that would help me reduce the significant weight I needed and begin to find an emotional healthier balance to my core.

My weight loss issue was never about food, 
it was about being safe to be small and beautiful.  

After the first year I lost 70 pounds and began to plateau in my weight loss only half way to my goal.  I began to have extreme cramping, flooding (abnormal blood loss) and mood swings and other perimenopausal symptoms.  I went to my doctor to get my hormone tested and got an ultra sound.  They found a tumor lodged in the wall of my uterus that was causing the misery, but not in menopause yet.  I have healthy functioning ovaries and no family history of cancer. 

They did a biopsy on the tumor and luckily it was benign, but I would need to have it removed.  Hey approved a full laparoscopic robotic hysterectomy.  They put me on different strengths of birth control to try and help the symptoms until I get my hysterectomy, this greatly affected my weight loss success.  I had to stop taking them, which makes the dreadful agony of symptoms a living hell.  This is where I stand today.  I get the surgery date next week.  The one true saving grace for me are my wonderful supportive friends who are there for me and I am relying on a Ketogenic diet lifestyle to keep me on track. 

After a year of slowly getting “Smaller”, I have had to begin to deal with the core wound issue of feeling safe to be small and beautiful.  I did notice small hurdles of self-sabotage when men started to treat me different and people started to notice my transformation of new found confidence and energy. I needed to take it slow, and my weight fluctuated up and down. Being thin does not mean being weak or vulnerable. My unconscious mind began to make the necessary updates in my new beliefs.  

After losing 70 pounds, my sleep apnea and heart issues disappeared.  I was in less pain and sleeping better.  I started to take more pride and care in how I looked because it was becoming fun.  What I did not expect was that my age has given me a sense of new found protection. 

I’m past my prime and no longer a target to unwanted attention. 
I did not expect that would be such a life changing and welcoming realization.

Most woman are hating getting old, and I am feeling free to be beautiful for the first time in my life.  When they say life begins at 50, I can attest to that.  The smaller I get now, the younger at heart I feel.  There is liberation in being considered a “Cougar” or “MILF”!  WHO KNEW?  Wrinkles and smile lines are worn like badges of honor now.  Don’t get me wrong. When I achieve my goal weight, I am surgically getting my boobies attended too.  As they get permanently lifted, so will my spirits.  : )

I do feel the need to be skilled and fit enough to be able to defend myself physically if ever needed.  I do hope to find a loving fun man who can watch over and protect me. I just need to know I am safe in my own skin.  These are the next steps in my personal fitness and personal evolution:  To be an ass kicking jazz singing martial arts fancy pants mystery unveiling empowered soul with a strong lean girly body.  Booy Yaa!