Bill Hicks was right.

I found myself a few years back in the woods with 78 of my favorite people, playing great music, cooking yummy feasts, dancing like fools, drinking excellent home brews and this particular night I had, involved a nice size mushroom cap and stem.  The stars are extra bright up there because there are no city lights or street lights within miles. It was a warm safe beautiful night to become quiet and take an inner journey, so I did.

I walked back to my VW camper bus and laid on the bed with the back hatch wide open to the dazzling night sky.  When the psilocybe magic began to open my eyes I saw the stars smile at me and wink as if I was being watched over.  Suddenly the realization hit me,

I am creating everything that I am.  Every thought that I have - Is a thing.  Thoughts Are Things.  I choose what I want to experience.  All of it.  I AM actually infinite consciousness creating a five sense physical experience.  All matter IS merely energy condensed to a slow vibration; We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.  There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.  Bill Hicks was right.

Wow!  I felt my heart open and could smell the eatrh and the bay trees near by applaud me for remembering who I was. I looked back up at the stars and winked back like it was our special secret. They winked back at me.

Suddenly I felt a full heart of love for myself, for the first time in my life - it was so healing; I felt love and deep appreciation for myself as a person, as if all of the negative things I had ever believed about myself were erased and transformed.  I laid there sobbing tears of joy and happiness, relief and contentment.  It was so validating.  Then I started laughing my ass off…. Realizing…. Wow! I’m a middle aged artistic fun loving woman, lying in a VW art car Camper painted like a Leopard, tripping balls, in love with all of life and the universe. I like my choice! It was like the ultimate hug.

Four days later when I returned home from the trip, I quit my day job and made some huge changes in my life. That feeling has never left me.