October 13, 2014

Time slips along my path...



There have been several times in my life where I had such profound glimpses into my own future that I felt I was actually there witnessing what was happening from a separate viewpoint.  I mean, I was watching what was happening to me from a crowd. 

It’s happened a few times to me, the most profound time I can remember was when I walked out onto the football field for the first time as a freshman in high school on a bright sunny day back in 1977.  I stood in one spot and looked up at the stadium stands and suddenly it was dark, there was a stage and I was standing there under a spotlight being crowned homecoming queen.  I felt all of the emotions, but was shocked to see what I was seeing WAS ME up there.  I stopped for a second and said to myself, “No Way”. 

I didn’t even know what that celebration was since I came from the 8th grade.  I looked around and the bleachers were full of people.  This was not some fantasy or dreaming thing, this was so real that I literally felt like I was there.  Then suddenly I was back at school and it was a sunny day.  I brushed it off as some weird thing.  The intensity of the experience stayed with me for a long time. 

4 years later that very experience actually happened.  I was crowned homecoming queen just like in the vision. I looked down into the crowd to see if I was standing there.  I didn’t see myself.  It was exactly like the vision I had experienced years before except I was standing on the stage being crowned. 

This happened again to me in 1985.  I had just finished my day shift at a job in Sausalito.  It was sunset and I was walking up the hill to my car and suddenly it was a bright sunny morning and I was standing in front of an old white haired woman.  She had her face turned away from me as she was talking about the garden in her front yard.  

I saw the side of her face she looked familiar and then I looked at her body and she was old and thin, she had long white hair all pulled up, she must have been at least 75 + years old.  She looked like she was living in a beautiful home, standing in her long steep driveway.  I looked again and could recognize her voice.  IT WAS ME!  Oh my God, I was seeing myself as an old woman.  I was beautiful, and I looked healthy.  I really stopped in my tracks and did a huge double take.  That was me?  Wow! 

This was not some profound celebration or anything like the vision I had before.  It was just a glimpse of me in my future again.  I took a step back to catch my breath, and then it was sunset again and I was looking up the hill to get to my car.  I remember sitting there for a long time.  It made me feel like I had a long life ahead of me.  At the age of 23 one doesn’t really think that is a big deal.  It was this very same year I started to go by Tré instead of Tracy.  At that time in my life, I felt sure that I would not live past the age of 30.  Don’t ask me why, but I never thought I would live very long in this life until I saw this vision of myself.  Why did I get to see myself like this?  

I didn’t know it at the time, but I think I do today.  Who would have thought that in the years to come that I would have a serious eating disorder?  Or that later I would suffer a head, neck and back injury and then have difficulty standing and walking and find myself overweight and living in physical pain?  So much pain and suffering that there were times I would consider ending my life?  There were times that I resented that vision because I didn’t want to live that long.  But seeing myself happy and healthy and what looked like in balance has given me comfort during my darkest days.

I haven’t had any visions of my life since then.  I’m only in my early 50’s, I have a ways to go and apparently still a long life ahead of me.  So apparently I make some good decisions in my near future since I end up there.  That sure is a mind fucker ain't it?

I think my highest divine self has been nice enough to give me some helpful hints along the way.  These visions or time slips, have really helped me along my path.  I just wish I could do one on purpose.



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