The unconscious mind is an amazing thing to behold when it
reveals things to you. I have suffered most of my life from neck pain. I figured it was because my brain was too full
of useless information that it became too heavy for my little neck to hold.
After years of traction, chiropractic, bodywork and all
kinds of other natural remedies, I one day realized what was going on. When I would go to bed and was ready to turn
the light off to go to sleep, I would do this weird thing and I didn’t know
why.
My neck is fucked up because I was
always afraid that vampires were going to bite my neck in my sleep.
This was long before Ann Rice helped make vampires sexy and cool. Seriously, I saw some movie as a kid. I used to curl my shoulders as close around my ears as I could and pull the pillow snug over my ears and practically smothered myself with blankets around my face so the blood suckers could not find my neck. This was the only way I could finally feel safe enough as a child to go to sleep.
This was long before Ann Rice helped make vampires sexy and cool. Seriously, I saw some movie as a kid. I used to curl my shoulders as close around my ears as I could and pull the pillow snug over my ears and practically smothered myself with blankets around my face so the blood suckers could not find my neck. This was the only way I could finally feel safe enough as a child to go to sleep.
Now, shoot forward in time 40 years. Some part of my unconscious mind was still doing this to protect me. It wasn’t even true, or real, but this belief as a child was still protecting me. These kind of beliefs are probably going on in everyone, whether we are aware of it or not. Weird old unconscious beliefs could be sabotaging your success in relationships, career and as I found out, my health.
Old unconscious beliefs that may have been helpful for your
survival as a child, are most likely no longer serving you now as an
adult.
When it finally hit me that I was still kind of doing this, I did have to laugh out loud, but it was a bloody “pain in the neck.” 😉 Just becoming aware of it and letting it go was enough to improve my sleep and my neck pain. I have minimal neck pain today.
Even weirder, my neck is one of my most sensual and sensitive places on my body. The thought of being sucked or bitten on my neck now makes me…HOT. Who knew? Learning that I still had this old belief kind of freaked me out at first. I was embarrassed about this. I felt like something was wrong with me. It was just a mistaken belief. Updating your unconscious beliefs is where real freedom, love and joy begins.
It took me some time to accept that I had weird old beliefs and that it was okay. Self acceptance, forgiveness and letting go of the old stuff inside me that just needed to be updated, are steps I am constantly taking to help me maintain the health and happiness as an un-vampire fan I am today.
When it finally hit me that I was still kind of doing this, I did have to laugh out loud, but it was a bloody “pain in the neck.” 😉 Just becoming aware of it and letting it go was enough to improve my sleep and my neck pain. I have minimal neck pain today.
Even weirder, my neck is one of my most sensual and sensitive places on my body. The thought of being sucked or bitten on my neck now makes me…HOT. Who knew? Learning that I still had this old belief kind of freaked me out at first. I was embarrassed about this. I felt like something was wrong with me. It was just a mistaken belief. Updating your unconscious beliefs is where real freedom, love and joy begins.
It took me some time to accept that I had weird old beliefs and that it was okay. Self acceptance, forgiveness and letting go of the old stuff inside me that just needed to be updated, are steps I am constantly taking to help me maintain the health and happiness as an un-vampire fan I am today.
Forgiveness isn’t easy for some, but when it happens inside
of your heart, it sets you free. We all
make mistakes, do and say thoughtless things sometimes. It’s not the end of the world. There are some things that are
much harder to forgive, but we are all fucked up in our own special ways - I forgive easily now.
There are some people whose pride and egos limit the joy they can have because they choose not to give people a second chance, or even more challenging if we really did fuck it up bad, forgiving ourselves. Forgiving yourself is the key to unlocking the prison you have built around your heart out of self-preservation. Protecting your tender loving heart (or neck) is an act of kindness, but doing it in this way only brings a lifetime of loneliness and pain.
There are some people whose pride and egos limit the joy they can have because they choose not to give people a second chance, or even more challenging if we really did fuck it up bad, forgiving ourselves. Forgiving yourself is the key to unlocking the prison you have built around your heart out of self-preservation. Protecting your tender loving heart (or neck) is an act of kindness, but doing it in this way only brings a lifetime of loneliness and pain.
You are lovable. You are enough, right now, exactly as you are. You don’t have to do anything to prove your worth, not if you accept yourself right now, where you are at in your life. You don’t have to accomplish more, do more, or reach a certain level of success. You don’t have to behave perfectly. You are worthy simply because you exist as a human being on this planet. There is room for you and all your messiness and confusion and pain. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all in this together.
We are all just walking each other home.
Are you confused about your life purpose? You don’t have to
figure it all out today or tomorrow or next year. Trust that you are living
your purpose right now, that the questions are part of the journey and the
journey is your purpose. You don’t need an impressive career. Whatever small or
large thing you are doing now, changing diapers or cleaning houses or crunching
numbers, it’s all important, it’s all perfectly part of the plan.
Are your relationships in shambles? Are you afraid you’ll be
alone? Become really still for a moment and know you aren’t alone. Know that no
one has this romance thing figured out. Even the people that seem like they do
still go to bed lonely sometimes.
Become really still and know that no matter who you are, no
matter who you love, no matter what you’ve done, there is a love so much bigger
than your romances. A love that holds this tiny planet together, a love that
transcends time and space and understanding, a love that is you and that will
always be with you. Let this love hold you.
Have you done something you think is unforgivable? Do you
hide in shame and guilt? Come into the light, speak your truth, you will find
the light shines kindly on those who seek help. Know that you were doing the
best you could in that moment.
There are generations of abuse and
lies and pain that many of us are fighting to rise out of and away from. So make your apologies, release the guilt and shame and keep moving forward so we
all can be free.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. In the end it will never get
you where you want to go. Practice radical self- acceptance and self -love.
Determine to love yourself so completely, so fully that everyone you come in contact with will feel loved simply by being around you.
Determine to love yourself so completely, so fully that everyone you come in contact with will feel loved simply by being around you.
Do this so you can be loved in the way you have always longed for. Love and respect yourself. Treat others the way You want to be treated. LET GO OF THE PAST. This will allow whoever
you end up with and share a family and life with and travel and explore the world with, TO LOVE
YOU COMPLETELY, and YOU THEM, and you will be HOME, SAFE and HAPPY. Security, Peace and HELLA GOOD LOVIN' await you, all you need is to reach out and take that leap of faith.
