All I ask

Do you remember when...

I was seven and you were eight, and we were playing hide and seek and wandered far away from the other kids. We ended up beneath a willow tree, and you asked me if I wanted to play doctor and I said, "okay!" So you said you needed to examine me, so I pulled up the skirt on my pink polka-dotted dress, and pulled down my panties and you looked very carefully to make sure that I wasn't sick. And then I was the doctor and you pulled down your shorts and underwear and I stared, amazed to see how different you were...

And do you remember your hand between my legs when I was your childhood sweetheart and we were necking in the back of a '57 Chevy? I was a good Catholic girl, so we never had intercourse, but after a lot of petting and promises, you could pretty much touch me wherever you wanted, though I never took my clothes off. Your hands would slip beneath my white blouse and push my bra off my firm young breasts and sometimes I'd let you unbutton the blouse so that you could suck on the dark pink nipples while your fingers slid beneath white cotton panties to the thick swatch of blond hair and then up and inside me, and we were trying so hard to be quiet even though we were up at Lookout Point and the only people around were other couples in other cars doing exactly what we were doing...

Or maybe you don't like me as a blonde. Maybe you prefer me as your wife, with sweet brown curls and a surprisingly wicked streak. You like me whispering suggestions in your ear, "Let me touch you, let me suck you, let me lick your cock, your balls, your asshole...call me your little girl and I'll call you daddy...call me your slut, your whore, whatever you like but please fuck me now -- I'll beg you if you want, oh yes..."

Would you prefer to beg? Me with flowing auburn hair down to my butt and green eyes and all in black. A black leather bodice laced tight so my breasts overflowed at the top, and black leather pants with the crotch cut out and black boots with five-inch spike heels and a nine-tailed cat in my hands, its soft leather aching for your back. I'd have you on your knees beneath me, begging for a chance to please your mistress, and I'd slap your face saying, "Who gave you permission to speak, little boy?! You only open your mouth when I say you do, understand? And now I want you to use it, crawl over here and lick me like you mean it." And when you do, I will get angry, and say you aren't doing a good job, and the cat will rain blows on your naked back and you will kneel there, silently begging with your eyes and trying not to scream...

I can be everything your heart desires -- everything your groin demands. And all I ask is that you never expect me to fold the laundry.

NYPD Think they are in a war zone with some unarmed protesters....

The police are begining to go against their own coniusneses of what it right, ethical and just.  They are becoming the thugs they so are sworn to protect U.S. Citizens from.

 

United States Marine Corps. Sgt. Shamar Thomas from Roosevelt, NY went toe to toe with the New York Police Department. An activist in the Occupy Wall Street movement, Thomas voiced his opinions of the NYPD police brutality that had and has been plaguing the #OWS movement.

Thomas comes from a long line of people who sacrifice for their country: Mother, Army Veteran (Iraq), Step father, Army, active duty (Afghanistan), Grand father, Air Force veteran (Vietnam), Great Grand Father Navy veteran (World War II). There is no honor, you dam right Sarg.



To contact Sgt. Thomas directly: sgtshamarthomasusmc@yahoo.com

Fascinating documentary on Fat in different cultures by National Geographic ~Taboo Beauty

 

 

“We have to create culture, don't watch TV, don't read magazines, don't even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are now is the most immediate sector of your universe, and if you're worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered, you're giving it all away to icons, icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that you want to dress like X or have lips like Y. This is shit-brained, this kind of thinking. 

That is all cultural diversion, and what is real is you and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told 'no', we're unimportant, we're peripheral. 'Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.' And then you're a player, you don't want to even play in that game. 

You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that's being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world.” 

~ Terence Mc Kenna

Secrets in Plain Sight Video Full Length ~ Worth Watching!

If you like numbers or are a math wizard, this video will blow your mind....

Numerology Life Path 7

 

I'm a life path 7. The 7 Life Path is the searcher and seeker of truth. You have a clear and compelling sense of yourself as a spiritual being. As a result, your goal is devoted to investigations into the unknown, and to finding the answers to the mysteries of life.

You posses a fine mind; you are an analytical thinker who is capable of great concentration and theoretical insight. You enjoy research and putting the pieces of an intellectual puzzle together. Once you have enough pieces in place, you are capable of highly creative insight, and of practical solutions to problems.

You enjoy your solitude, preferring to work alone. You need time to contemplate your ideas without the intrusion of other's people's thoughts. You are a lone wolf, a person who lives by your own ideas and methods.

As a result, close associations are difficult for you to form and to keep especially, marriage. You need your space and privacy, which when violated, can cause great frustration and irritation. When your life is balanced, however, you are both charming and attractive. You can be the life of a party and you enjoy performing before an audience. You enjoy displaying your wit and knowledge, which makes you attractive to others, especially the opposite sex. But you have distinct limits. While you are generous in social situations, sharing your attention and energy freely, you are keenly aware of the need to come off stage, and to return to the solitude of your lair. You associate peace with the unobtrusive privacy of your world. Therefore, intimacy is difficult for you, because you guard your inner world like a mother lion does her cubs.

However, all this privacy and solitude can cause isolation and loneliness. You can be aware of an emptiness in your life, a part of you that yearns for company and close companionship that may be unsatisfied.

If isolation is brought to extreme, you can become cynical and suspicious. You can develop hidden, selfish motives, which people may sense and cause them to be uncomfortable around you. You must guard against becoming too withdrawn and too independent, thus shutting out the love for others, and keeping you from experiencing the true joy of friendship and close companionship.

You must especially watch out for selfishness and egocentricity, thinking of yourself as the center of the universe, as the only person who really matters. Social contract gives you perspective on yourself and on life, while too much isolation can make you too narrow, and even shut off from the rest of the world.

Secretly, you may feel jealous of the easy relationships formed by others; you may perceive others as less inhibited than you, or more free to express themselves. You may harshly criticize yourself for not being more gregarious, powerful or capable of greater leadership.

Your challenge in life is to maintain your independence without feeling isolated or ineffectual. You must hold fast to your unique view of the world while at the same time being open to others and to the knowledge they have to offer.

With your abilities to learn, analyze and seek out answers to life's important questions, you have the potential for enormous growth and success in life. By the time you reach middle age you will radiate refinement and wisdom. Phytaguours, who lived 2500 years ago and is often called the father of numerology, loved the 7 for its great spiritual potential.

The person with a 7 Path Life often finds success and satisfaction with business, science, religion, insurance, invention, the occult and anything relate to research.

Find out yours here!

Solving the Mid-life Crisis - A Silly RTW Pilgrimage

Yesterday I took Nellie the Scooter Dog and a pitcher of wine coolers to the beach, it was a gloriously sunny day here in Pacifica so we soaked up some rays and watched beautiful surfer boys do amazing stunts in wet suits – always a pleasure.

I have been feeling depressed and rather whore-moany lately, contemplating my life direction as I begin to look at going back to a day job.  This time off has really been about deciding how I want to live the last half of my life.  How and where I want to live and where my heart is about it all.

On my way back from the big Seattle Artcar Blowout this year I was smitten with Mt. Shasta, Lake Shastina and fell in love with the small town of Weed, CA.  I could totally see myself flopping down a cool shipping container house/industrial art studio on some small piece of land and have a get-a-way off the grid remote retirement homestead there.  I call the San Francisco bay area my home and Pacifica, CA is very close to my heart, but the open road is calling to me to spread my wings.  Here is a Squirly Whirly Road report I made coming home near Mt. Shasta:



The goal is to be self employed and work from home or continue doing high paid contract work for 6 months out of the year and take 6 months off to spread random acts of silliness and fun around the globe changing the emotional states of millions.

As I was cruising in the Squirly Whirly back home from the state of Washington, through Oregon back to California, I saw many RV’s that were towing a car.   This got me thinking about what it would be like staying in an RV for long periods of time.  I have been working on building plans for a stealth 24 ft. box van studio work/live apartment, but the thought of a complete non-stealth ridiculously funny comfy already pre-made recreational vehicle sounds almost irresistible. 

My idea is something huge and hilariously epic barreling down the road on a RTW (Round the World) pilgrimage - A New Artcar Project, one that I can travel comfortably in with a couple of goofy friends who want to join me off and on for 6 months of adventures in sharing music, art & debauchery.  Live roadshow webcasts, make new cool friends all across the world and write all about the experience.... That is something to get excited about!  Sell my wares, do some gigs go to lots of concerts and do art shows all along the way.

Working at day job seems a whole lot more juicy now!!!!!

Anyone wanna get off their Hamster wheel and come out and play?

An Eye Opening History Lesson

Charles Stephen Russell... 'Cha ste rus'

I found out today May 12, 2011 that my beloved friend, Charlie Russell born on January 6, 1965, was found dead this morning at his amazing art installation home, "East Jesus" in Slab City, CA. The cause of death is still being determined, but it seemed to have to do with some recent health related issue.  Too young, too soon for him to go.  I still can't believe it. 

I first met Charlie at Burning Man in 2004, I spotted his VW Camper Bus Artcar "Cinnabar Charm" (which was named after a Th. Metzger poem) parked out in the middle of nowhere on the playa and dropped everything to stop by and check it out since I had an old classic VW Camper Bus Artcar too. He was naked and wearing a watch as a cock ring, and was trying to sleep so I didn't get to actually meet him that day, but I never forgot him, what time it was, or the bumper sticker he had that said, "Church of the Chocolate Martini."

Shortly after returning from Black Rock City, I was invited to come to Artcar Fest and got to meet artcar artists, which I did not consider myself to be at the time. Everyone that I met told me I had to meet Charlie Russell. We both had VW Camper Bus Artcars and loved martini's! I didn't get to meet him until the next year.

I stocked his website and started having a little crush on the boy from afar. I'd heard lots of stories about him and was inspired and astounded at what he was building near BLM land in southern California. I became a regular reader of his online blog/journal "asynchronology" over morning coffee for years. I was most intrigued by his poetic eccentric original ideals that seemed to have a scientific, philosophical,earthy depth. He was complicated and fascinating, I loved the way see saw the world. I needed to really get to know this wild man living in the desert alone.  For a few years I got to know him at art car events and through email exchanges.  I was drawing up plans for stealth box truck living and my shipping container home, he was more then helpful he was already living the dream.

It wasn't until 2008 that we finally kissed and he asked me to "Go Steady", he actually asked me, like we were in Jr. High school, very sweet. I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, he lived in Slab City, it was hard to be so far apart. We had a great time writing to one another and leaving vm messages. We were a great pair, he was "Feral Charlie, the Major of East Jesus" and I was what he called me his, "Fancy Girlfriend". We were both very happy for awhile. He posted this on his blog:

2008.04.11.1447  happy

this isn't news, nobody cares when you say, "I am happier than I have ever been in my life."
no one gives a flying fuck when everything works out, when the mountains touch the ground, and when the lovers are united, though distant...
and world peace might be the most boring thing to ever descend upon us....


be prepared, then, for lots and lots of boredom, my friend....
the future is now, and it's after the end of the world.


may our immediate future be without incident, without calamity, and without the newsworthy.
i am beyond contentment in my boring little place in the desert, with my views of the mountains
and my dog, and my friends, some shade,
and a few gallons of water for the cactus, and me.


i remain - unspectacularly, very forgetttably yours.....


- chasterus

We would visit one another, driving and or flying the 600 miles.  He bought me my own little trailer for when I came to visit East Jesus.  He covered it in corks and artistically fixed it up beautifully and even put a star on the door.  I felt like the East Jesus Movie Star!

He was one of the most talented people I have ever met.  He would take any piece of crap thing and transform it into clever beauty.  He loved to debate, he loved good whiskey, guns with lots of amo and bacon and martini's and showed me how to REALLY LISTEN to the album  "Dark Side of the Moon".  He was a poet and passionate kind hearted fierce and loyal lover and friend.  He had a great mind.  He loved the "Humminy Birds" he would call them.  He would joke about having a petting zoo of Scorpions, Rattle Snakes and other dangerous desert creatures.  He was funny.  He was serious too, sometimes too serious for his own good.  He was certainly a "Fringe Dweller" in every sense word.  He was a real renegade. He could be scary and unpredictable.  He was crazy as hell sometimes.  I think society became too crazy for him to live in, I couldn't agree more. 

Charlie was a true humanitarian.  He would share his world with almost anyone passing by.  He had a heart of gold and would genuinely help those in need when they really needed it.  He wasn't building a community of dusty artists - Off The Grid... they just found him.  Charlie was original in every way imaginable.  He was a great builder and designer, self taught from solar power to the most advanced micro chip.  He was a HAM Radio man,  a great cook and a articulate story teller and writer.  He was such a bad boy, in such a good way.  He had the best laugh. We shared a love of BBQ, Micro brewers, Natural Hot Springs and planned to travel all over the country to explore them, which I wish we would have done.

Performing music has been and continues to be a huge part of my life.  I used to encourage him to get back into playing or composing music, since he did have a formal Bachelors in Music Composition degree.  Oddly enough that is something we never got to share together. Thankfully, he started playing again after we broke up.  Here are a few of his music videos.  I love his voice and heart.  I regret not playing music with him most. 

Charles Stephen Russell made a huge contribution to the free art world as we know it.  There is a new generation of people who are now creating wide open free range off the grid art compounds all over the world, because of Charlie Russell. He lived everyday the way he wanted and how he wanted it.  He was a living legend and hero to us all.

Charlie I love you and I am going to miss you sweetheart.  Save me a martini, and I'll see you on the other side.

An In Depth Look at UFOs, Aliens, and the Question of "Contact"...

Wow, here is a great mind boggling in depth look at years of research on many topics concerning "Contact" that truly try to uncover what is going on here in this reality... Worth watching!

















What do you think?

Religion Comes From Ancient Astrology and Sun Worship

These are REALLY worth watching!

Ted Kratter….

The world of music lost a great one today… San Francisco bay area Bluegrass and Folk guitar player, Ted Kratter died of Cancer today.  One of the greatest guitar players and closest and funniest friends I have known.  My heart is broken.

Lighting Fingers, I miss you.  I can't begin to find the words just yet.  I can’t imagine my life without you in it.

I love you.

Photo Proof the Moon Landing Was Faked...

Here is what I woke up to yesterday morning...

I just got back from the weekend. I had a great gig at the Calistoga Mud, Mustard and Music jazz festival, then went up to Harbin Hot Springs and camped in Lisa's Burning man Class B Camper Van... here is the video I took when I woke up yesterday morning...

Feel the Burne….

Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que c'est….I’m sitting in my hotel room in Calistoga, CA chilling before tomorrows jazz gig for the Calistoga "Mustard, Mud & Music" Festival. They are comping some nice dining for the band, so Doug and I are going to check out Brannan’s in a little bit. 

Dangerous Martini is going to shake and stir this place up good.  David Burne is going to feel a burn when we put the dangerous martini lounge spank on one of the Talking Heads covers tomorrow.  I keep listening to the song here on my laptop.

The French part is interesting…Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là - What I did that night, Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là - What she said that night, Réalisant mon espoir - Realizing my dreams, Je me lance vers la gloire - I throw myself towards glory.  Legend has it that this was Isadora Duncan’s last words before her tragic death. We are vain and we are blind, I hate people when they're not polite…

There is always something the same about hotel rooms no matter where you go, their just like airport bars… stale, overly nice and lonely. 

"The Acrylic Years."...

This year seems to be a big turn around for me.  I’m starting over with my personal rig, looking in the mirror for the first time in years.  I do like myself as I am, I just don’t relate very well.  I suffer from a form of dissociative anxiety that seems to flare up when I am faced with my need to protect myself... from facing my own feelings and myself.  Hence why I can sing the shit out of torch ballads - it's safer for me to sling the deep emotional shit artistically at you.  Being a vocalist is cheaper then therapy.  Astrologically, I am a fire sign but have a truck load of water in my natal chart, and haven’t quite developed the capacity for dealing with the bigger waves yet.  I'm steamy either way.  I seem to have become a connoisseur of avoiding reality, and certainly when it involves my body, aging, responsibility and dealing with my looks in general.  I haven’t quite lost my bloom, but my petals are certainly falling off.

Is there life after 12 years of acrylic hair extensions and 25 years of acrylic nails?  I hope so because I have removed every trace of acrylic from permanently being stuck to me.  I have very fine and soft, brittle hair and nails always have – DUCK FUR I call it - and that was my solution – show biz fakery, or props for being a Lady in this culture…. I need a break from fake.  I want to just be myself, my real self.  I have a couple wigs to transition to let my hair grow out for the public, but I am cultivating the ground and planting new fresh seeds.  I've endured a lot of stinking fertilizer and tilling my soil hurts.

This year I have the opportunity to examine myself and find what is up with me, though I am finding this very difficult to do.  This is my internal war.  Apathy, depression, boredom, creative inspiration, anxiety, unexpressed rage, injustice, fear of too much attention mixed with the need to feel significant, it’s like having the foot and the gas and the break at the same time.
ME…. Can’t you smell the stench of burnt brakes and tar….? Me… the childlike middle aged big beautiful care giving chef that sings jazz with a soul full of blues and glues squirrels to her car? ….the psychic empathic secret psychologist to the world who prays for only really one super power – To be able to heal and restore every living thing to perfect health, balance and happiness….? …. The loner, the rebel, who fights rules and lives to defy authority yet is sick of paying the price for it….? … the lost little girl who cries herself to sleep because she fears to dream of love ever again …? a highly sensual lover who is too fat and out of shape to fuck….? … sad lazy angry bitter dressed and ready to catch the next big end of the world scenario in hopes she can die from natural causes….? …planning to live in a truck as a retirement plan….? …hiding in my postage stamp bedroom, thankful just to be safe and dry and warm….? …spending time planning a future of freedom and fun and practicing being here now….? … uncovering every stone in the universe and beyond to find out what the hell I am doing here...? …choosing a simpler way of life….? …laying off the beer and bacon switching to salad and fat free yogurt for awhile….?…peri-fucking-menopause, the beginning of the end of my bleeding whiny-ass sniveling youth….? 

Yep ME…the artist and singer and tour guide of really weird stuff and living silly adventures, a fine example of 'What Not To Do'....hoping to remind myself to not take life too seriously...
New strong beautiful fresh sprouts are springing up and out slowly on the outside and inside. 

Let the detox begin and may a giant purple acrylic vagina be erected somewhere forbidden in my honor - to represent "The Acrylic Years." 

The Art of Kitty Zen

“Diva” my sweet cat is 12 years old.  She is a long hair smoky black luxurious kitty with aqua blue/green eyes.  I had rescued her from an animal shelter with her late brother “Dude” whom I am calling late because we still don’t know what became of him.  That is a heart breaking sad story I’ll tell you another time.

Diva is my girl.  We are bonded for life.  She may be like a daughter to me in some ways, but mostly she has been my one truly loyal and trusted friend.  She has allergies, she has a strong personality and doesn’t like to be brushed or bathed and certainly lives up to her name.  She has lately developed big kitty dreadlocks in her fur and they are getting too much for her to handle anymore.  I have been looking for a veterinarian locally who may be able to sedate her and shave these off for us. 

Then it hit me, this sweet cat is the longest closest good relationship I have had in this lifetime, including both of my parents and my brother.  She and I have been through so much together, so many ups and downs, moves, PTSD, jobs, depression, and even being homeless for awhile.  Diva is the oldest pet I have had in my life.  She is smart as hell too.  I hear her in pictures in my head.  Animals do talk, it’s a lot like what Telepathy would be, I guess.  She understands me too.  We are connected in a really special way.

After Dude went missing, Diva fell completely apart.  I mean bad.  She started chewing off half of her body fur and just was depressed beyond repair.  We were both destroyed by his loss.  We ended up moving to a cool pad behind a great Art College in the Rockridge District of Oakland/Berkeley, CA and within the second week I rescued a small short hair black girly kitten and named her “Gidget” – She was a Girl and a Midget.  Diva was pleasantly distracted.  They have become soul sisters and very close friends.

As long as they are safe and happy, I am okay.  I must be honest and say, that there have been times that if it weren’t for my two girls, I may have not made it.  I have learned so much from them, mostly unconditional love and remembering to purr and let myself be in the moment and enjoy it, completely.  The art of kitty Zen…..my sweet little Angels with fur.  Thanks for taking such good care of me.

Hope for the future...

I have been tired, I mean deep down to the bone tired of living lifetime after lifetime coming back to a world where there is so much suffering and pain.  I had decided that the next time I die, I'm going to have a sit down chat with the Creator and say I want a long soul vacation. 
How many of you have had this same feeling?

I have done all the self help, deep meditational, medical psycho-medicational, and just about every new age "Try to feel better" thing on the planet to figure out why I feel like such crap and everyone around me too.  I started to dig and do research on what actually IS GOING ON in the this world to try to make some sense of it all.  I researched into all the ancient texts, religions, conspiracies, studies of human brain, psychology, sociology, economics, politics, futurist and predictive measures, magic, forbidden secret cabals, the human spirit, the earth, nature itself.... and have learned much about who we are and how we have been operating here on this 3rd dimensional space.

The why has puzzled me too.  I'm pretty sure it has to do with Love and Creating cool stuff and sub-categories of such love in infinite ways of expression.  Not everyone, but deep down I believe All living things want to thrive more then just survive.  I have concluded that what systems we have in place currently stink.  It's not about blaming or fearing who we put in charge to watch over us anymore.  There is no doubt that the system has been compromised and is being managed by a spirit of scarcity and greed.  We need to take a moment and look at what we are doing to ourselves, one another and to our home - our planet.

I got REALLY INSPIRED when I found this video interview with a futurist Jacque Fresco here... 

Then found The Venus Project here... (Lot's of great ideas and videos in the link)

Then found the newest of a series of mind opening 2011 videos Newest Here...

I suggest watching the Zeitgeist Original Video Series here... (They are long, controversial and mind openingly interesting)

When I watched these, I felt a new sense of hope and purpose.  I felt YOUNG and EXCITED about living again.  I take most things with a grain of salt, and I have lot's of questions, but I like the ideas and can see a future I would like to come back too.  Change, I imagine will be rough, but I believe Jacque makes perfect sense, and the truth that all human beings having there basic needs be met would certainly make this world a better place to live.

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO CHECK THESE IDEAS OUT!

Aleister Crowley - The Wickedest Douchbag In The World

Aleister Crowley was one of the pathetic power hungry narcissistic douchbags that ever lived. I think he was a rebel against religion in the beginning and then ended up experimenting with the dark side and was possessed by it completely.  Here is an interesting show if you want to learn more about who he was.

Mayan calendar’s actual beginning of the end date is October 28, 2011...

Hello 2011… ….What will you be bringing us this year? Is this the last year of our lives? Is October 28, 2011 the start of the end in the Mayan Calendar?

Let’s review the current list of possible scenarios on the table:

• We wake up one day and have new DNA and suddenly have use of the 90% of our brains that we weren’t using before?
• Solar Flare – Kill Shot?
• Planet X - Nibiru returns and shakes us up?
• Pole Shift?
• Ascension happens for the positive kind folks on the planet and we go into the next dimensions in spiritual development?
• Artificial Intelligence Singularity?
• The Mothership shows up and saves mankind by taking us to a safe place?
• CERN creates a black hole with the God Particle that implodes our universe?
• Electromagnetic Pulse, and society as we know it ends?
• Global Economic collapse – World Depression, we starve to death?
• Meteorite impact?
• I build a stealth cube van mobile condo and save a bunch of money living on the fringe?
• Earths Ozone Collapses and we fry?
• Major earthquakes that sinks the state of California into the Pacific?
• The Anti-Christ shows up and does his Satanic crap?
• The world is threatened by a false flag pandemic and mandatory vaccine injections are forced upon all containing Nano-chips to be used for mass control of the human race?
• Underground giants in hibernation chambers come back to life and destroy us?
• Mega tsunami?
• Alien hybrids rise up and defeat the manipulators behind the veil fucking with mankind?
• The Constitution of the US will be reinstated and tyranny will end?
• Extreme Climate change and global warming, bring a sudden Ice age?
• Friendly race of extraterrestrials will introduce themselves as nice neighbors and show us better ways to be?
• Nuclear war in Korea, then WW3?
• FREE ENERGY will no longer be suppressed and we will begin to ween ourselves off of fossil fuels?
• Locusts, sea turning to blood and "The Rapture" that Christians are expecting?
• Planet splits like an atom and shifts into other dimensions?
• Ecological disaster?
• Great love will sweep me away in a year of world travels and adventures with a fun smart ass goofy guy and we will make love in beautiful places?
• War on US Soil?
• It will be like Y2K, nothing much happens?
• World Domination of a dark cabal Reptilian race of aliens to make us their slaves?
• Oakland Raiders win the super bowl?
• Near Earth Supernova?
• Join a survival community and contribute in anyway I can to relieve the suffering of others and help survivors’?
• Super volcano erupting?
• Federal Reserve Bank will be audited and found guilty of fraud, murder and treason and collapses, we start over and live much simpler lives in small self sustaining communities?
• The hollow earth is discovered and we all meet our Creators inside?
• US disclosure finally happens and nobody is shocked?
• Aliens’ land on the White House lawn and punch the US President in the nards?
• HARRP turns to a certain frequency that activates the barium and aluminum oxide particles scattered from chemtrails on us and make us all Zombies?
• I move into a light industrial warehouse and turn it into a cool art studio loft home and sell really weird stuff online to make the world laugh out loud?
• Dolphins & Whales become the representatives for earth because they are far more advanced then Homo sapien sapiens?
• Anal probes for EVERYONE?
• I trust in my process and the Universe with an open heart and remember to be– LIVING EVERYDAY AS IF IT WHERE OUR LAST.

Who knows?  All I do know is, I love being here with you.

Tom Waits.....as Tré Waits....

As I walked down the long cold corridor of public storage units today, I could feel from each role up door, a sense of whose stuff was in each one…. I saw faces and movie/stories flash through my mind one by one. Older, younger, divorced, forclosure, children have left….all information flashing through my senses. As I approached my storage unit, I felt….. Stagnated, Put on hold, Revaluation of life’s direction…

Almost everything I own is in a dark hole in East Oakland waiting for me to…. Begin again.

I got the bed out and my printer today and there was the pot with my mothers ashes sitting there looking at me…and when I rolled the door back down I whispered…”Forgive me, but I always take the long way home.”

 Tom Waits.....as Tré Waits....


to wait: – verb (used without object)
1. to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens (often fol. by for, till, or until ): to wait for the bus to arrive.

2. (of things) to be available or in readiness: A letter is waiting for you.

3. to remain neglected for a time: a matter that can wait.

4. to postpone or delay something or to be postponed or delayed: We waited a week and then bought the house. Your vacation will have to wait until next month.

5. to look forward to eagerly: I'm just waiting for the day she will know what she wants and where to bury her sweet mothers remains and then find a great place to call home..

Larry the Squirrel goes to the Beach...

I’m in the middle of my Squirly Whirly 2.0 Artcar project and am packed and moving to live in a cute house on the ocean. I’m moving to Pacifica California to lay down some roots and soak up some positive water ions and good San Francisco fog. I’m ready to fall asleep to the sounds of the waves crashing near by and bring my 1973 VW Leopard Art Bar Car to the thirsty surfers out there. ..and… my new and improved daily driver Squirly Whirly version 2.0. Larry the Squirrel Lives my friends!

Larry the Squirrel  - The Story

A couple years ago I was minding my own business at Joanne’s Fabric store and saw there was a 75% off sale sign over in the corner…. I saw Gnomes… I sauntered closer to take a look. I have a thing for Gnomes; the only problem is they are all too perky and happy. I have been looking for an angry Gnome or at least a sarcastic wise ass Gnome for my collection. No luck (I’ll have to make some of my own) but behind the cheerful hairy little men was a portly large garden ornament Squirrel. I picked him up and he looked to me like…a guy whose name could be….Larry. Yes, Larry the Squirrel before we made to the check out line. He had a crack in him and they took off even more at the register.  The next day I fixed him up as good as new and decided to glue him as a hood ornament to my car.

Then a good Artcar friend Tom Kennedy died and I glued 450 tea lights to the car for his memorial, Candle Car…

The next season I replaced the tea lights with 650 Mylar pinwheels and a couple more Solar Squirrels to keep Larry Company. I debuted her in the Maker Faire 2009, named Squirly Whirly.

Shortly after, I stood in line all day at the San Francisco Opera costume sale, and ended up parking her overnight in The Haight Asbury where some tweeker street fuckers vandalized the car. Stole one of the solar squirrels and tried to tear Larry off the hood, but only cracked his tail half off. Poor Larry. He was messed up bad. 

This year Larry has 20 new squirrel friends and 18 big solar lights accompanied by 165 hand made recycled aluminum can art pinwheels that I have fiber glassed to the car. I will be showing her at the Artcar Fest 2010 grand opening of The Crocker Art Museum, Sacramento CA, with a huge number of other amazing art car artists from all over the western United States and Canada.

Here is Larrys New Look!  He almost has an Evel Knievel look don't he?

Look for him at the beach, he will be there soon!

 

   

Now, Feels Good....

I'm on unemployment and having a hard time with it.  At first, I was feeling apathetic; I was laying here judging myself for not making something important of my life. I started to feel like a failure. Then I asked myself, what do you want? I laid back and thought, I went into my core and contemplated this serious question.

I answered, Peace. I want to be Free and feel Peace. I just then realized that is exactly what I have Right Now…. Freedom….

And so, I let go
Let go of the judgement
and for a moment let myself just feel...Free,
and that brought me Peace
All through me.
I took a deep breath,
and Really let myself feel Peace
and stepped right into, Now.
I let it soak into me
Now Feels, Good.
I have it whenever I want it.

Tales of Diva Blubber...

I think I get it now, why I have packed on this EXTRA weight. It’s so I won’t get into a relationship. Yea, I have a herniated L3 lumbar and yea Weight Watchers is working for me, but why have I plateaued at this weight? It’s so I won’t let myself be swept away by torrid passion and unveiled to reveal my bare nakedness, the bone and flesh cage that surrounds my tender scar tissued heart. Yea, I see it now. I do have wolves at my door and all, but I ain’t taken no trips to granny’s house if ya know what I mean. Yes, I do feel skin hunger and romantically lonely and yes, I have dreams that resemble Good porno movies most mornings, but what gives?
*

I have been hanging around my unhappily married friends for too long. Seeing and witnessing their silent misery makes it easy to stay single. I do LOVE my FREEDOM too. Sure, I could saddle up with some cool depressed romantic guy bored out of his skull and make beautiful music together, but at what cost? Geez Tré, what happened? Yea, I’ve had my heart broken a few times, I grew from the experiences. Maybe I just don’t feel that I need a relationship to complete me anymore. The thing I kept falling in love with in “The One Types” was the very qualities I had disowned or hadn’t recognized in myself. Did you hear that? My pussy just cried out, “Bullshit, get a dick in here and stat!” Lonely dicks make me sad. Shut up down there. It’s true though, I do feel more whole then ever in my life. I am far from lonely.

*

I think I’m hibernating; hibernating under middle aged blubber. The lady under the blubber is a recovering perfectionist and has taken a vacation from dieting. The blubber is Really a disguise. I’m a hot 47 year old knock out bomb shell paying close attention to who actually can see Me under here. I can’t wait to hike the trail with no back pain. I miss skiing and I want to jump off that cliff in Pacifica with a parachute. I want to feel strong and safe be beautiful without all the unwanted attention. I am working on my heart in here too.  I think I need to come out for air.

Henhouse Letters...

Meet Miss Coco Le Vin

After lemon implants and photo shoot, she went into a tanning bed at 400 degrees for one hour.



Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken...


http://www.reallyweirdstuff.com/cocolevin.htm

Why?  There is an art show this weekend up in Sacramento, CA, dedicated to THE CHICKEN.  Everything chicken, eggs and cocks...  It's this Saturday, August 14th 6:00pm - 11:00pm@ The Sub Q, 714 K St. Sacramento, CA 95814 ~ There will be music, and yep...I'm singing about chickens, cocks...maybe bacon.

The Golden Ratio = 1.61803399, Timewave Zero & Naps...

Today felt like I was given this gift of unemployment/rest as a great thank you for service; a service of smiles, warm comfort food hugs and great music. I am so thankful for this time off right now.  I found it hard to get out of bed today, I really need some sleep. I have so much to do, so many fun things to accomplish with this free time, and I found myself wide awake in the dark of my bed room last night thinking about Timewave Zero Theory. Novelty it’s my life. When I compare myself to the western world and its culture, I sure have not been at home. I was born here, but I mean – I am so different compared to the left brained dominant society.  The way I have lived my life has been novel. I didn’t do what I was told, ever…pretty much.
*

I live every moment following my instincts. I always end up meeting the most interesting beautiful people doing something great in ways I could have not imagined using my monkey mind. Living open in the Now state of consciousness and practicing being here and in present time has been the greatest gift my life has given me so far. I guess not having a lot of expectations makes life full of wonderment and appreciation for beauty and novelty as it unfolds and as I create it. It’s emotionally and psychologically simpler. It is gentler on the soul overall.
*

I remember how amazed I was as an American woman visiting Aix en Provence in the south of France on holiday and watching them close all the businesses at noon for the afternoon break/siesta and thinking how astonishing that was, a whole culture stopping to sit down and rest for awhile. Americans don’t do that. That had a profound effect on me, plus I am a big fan of naps.  In my art, one theme and shape that has always shown up is the Golden Mean, a large spiral…. A swirl, be it spinning or not always is in all of my artistic self expressions. It vibrates different patterns by each different frequency and uncovers the hidden meme that is in all creation here in this third density. As if consciousness itself were creating itself with every emotion, swirling, turning, and rippling upward and also downward, are separating onward both directions into eternity of awareness’s. Whoa.

*

I think Terrence McKenna was an epic explorer for the human spirit. I think his Timewave Zero Theory is interesting, especially the way it seems to be mapping out profound human world events in a linear timeline. What had me staying in bed was the realization that according to the theory, the concentration of such events replicating history is being condensed within this very spiral of time. Not that time is speeding up, but that Novelty is, much more creation within a shorter amount of time. Look at nanotechnology and the advancements in science today. It is undeniable. The suppression of energy and health technologies will no longer be able to be held back. New thoughts and novelty are afoot my friends.
*

I just laid here today thinking about how intense it is to be alive during this pinnacle time in human history, and thankful that I get to have a front row seat during the immense change that is happening. It makes me want to kick Ray Kurzweil in the head. It feels like we are being squeezed through a big birth canal of conciousness.  I just hope it won’t hurt too much before it gets better, and if it does, I’ll be here in service; a service of smiles, warm comfort food hugs and great music to get you through it.  Watch these....

 

Invisible Ink

Every time I really cum

I mean cum like earth shattering orgasmic

over the top sing the star spangled banner CUM,

I cry….weep… and curse his name…..still, after all these years.

It is like his cock crept into my heart

and signed his name on it,

and the only way for me to get the memo

is to unabashedly strum a G major concerto on my “Clitar” until the truth be told.

He had me, much more then I knew.

You would think the magnitude of the blast would certainly clear the pathways connected from ones pussy to ones heart.

It’s been so long since I’ve opened mine in the presence of a well inked hard cock.

I think the next time if I'm lucky enough

to find myself in the presence of great love again

and have the nerve to open my heart completely in the heat of passion

I will take the time to read the fine print,

and appreciate what I have.

 

Wrong kind of Wet Spots

I still cry when I cum
Tears like grieving
For all of the wet spots
we will never make
Together.

32nd Annual St. Stupid's Day 2010 - Stupid Good Times!

The sign I made said, "Coalition for Silly Nun-Sense."  Best Stupid Thing I've done so far this year!  http://www.saintstupid.com/