An In Depth Look at UFOs, Aliens, and the Question of "Contact"...

Wow, here is a great mind boggling in depth look at years of research on many topics concerning "Contact" that truly try to uncover what is going on here in this reality... Worth watching!

















What do you think?

Religion Comes From Ancient Astrology and Sun Worship

These are REALLY worth watching!

Ted Kratter….

The world of music lost a great one today… San Francisco bay area Bluegrass and Folk guitar player, Ted Kratter died of Cancer today.  One of the greatest guitar players and closest and funniest friends I have known.  My heart is broken.

Lighting Fingers, I miss you.  I can't begin to find the words just yet.  I can’t imagine my life without you in it.

I love you.

Photo Proof the Moon Landing Was Faked...

Here is what I woke up to yesterday morning...

I just got back from the weekend. I had a great gig at the Calistoga Mud, Mustard and Music jazz festival, then went up to Harbin Hot Springs and camped in Lisa's Burning man Class B Camper Van... here is the video I took when I woke up yesterday morning...

Feel the Burne….

Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que c'est….I’m sitting in my hotel room in Calistoga, CA chilling before tomorrows jazz gig for the Calistoga "Mustard, Mud & Music" Festival. They are comping some nice dining for the band, so Doug and I are going to check out Brannan’s in a little bit. 

Dangerous Martini is going to shake and stir this place up good.  David Burne is going to feel a burn when we put the dangerous martini lounge spank on one of the Talking Heads covers tomorrow.  I keep listening to the song here on my laptop.

The French part is interesting…Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là - What I did that night, Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là - What she said that night, Réalisant mon espoir - Realizing my dreams, Je me lance vers la gloire - I throw myself towards glory.  Legend has it that this was Isadora Duncan’s last words before her tragic death. We are vain and we are blind, I hate people when they're not polite…

There is always something the same about hotel rooms no matter where you go, their just like airport bars… stale, overly nice and lonely. 

"The Acrylic Years."...

This year seems to be a big turn around for me.  I’m starting over with my personal rig, looking in the mirror for the first time in years.  I do like myself as I am, I just don’t relate very well.  I suffer from a form of dissociative anxiety that seems to flare up when I am faced with my need to protect myself... from facing my own feelings and myself.  Hence why I can sing the shit out of torch ballads - it's safer for me to sling the deep emotional shit artistically at you.  Being a vocalist is cheaper then therapy.  Astrologically, I am a fire sign but have a truck load of water in my natal chart, and haven’t quite developed the capacity for dealing with the bigger waves yet.  I'm steamy either way.  I seem to have become a connoisseur of avoiding reality, and certainly when it involves my body, aging, responsibility and dealing with my looks in general.  I haven’t quite lost my bloom, but my petals are certainly falling off.

Is there life after 12 years of acrylic hair extensions and 25 years of acrylic nails?  I hope so because I have removed every trace of acrylic from permanently being stuck to me.  I have very fine and soft, brittle hair and nails always have – DUCK FUR I call it - and that was my solution – show biz fakery, or props for being a Lady in this culture…. I need a break from fake.  I want to just be myself, my real self.  I have a couple wigs to transition to let my hair grow out for the public, but I am cultivating the ground and planting new fresh seeds.  I've endured a lot of stinking fertilizer and tilling my soil hurts.

This year I have the opportunity to examine myself and find what is up with me, though I am finding this very difficult to do.  This is my internal war.  Apathy, depression, boredom, creative inspiration, anxiety, unexpressed rage, injustice, fear of too much attention mixed with the need to feel significant, it’s like having the foot and the gas and the break at the same time.
ME…. Can’t you smell the stench of burnt brakes and tar….? Me… the childlike middle aged big beautiful care giving chef that sings jazz with a soul full of blues and glues squirrels to her car? ….the psychic empathic secret psychologist to the world who prays for only really one super power – To be able to heal and restore every living thing to perfect health, balance and happiness….? …. The loner, the rebel, who fights rules and lives to defy authority yet is sick of paying the price for it….? … the lost little girl who cries herself to sleep because she fears to dream of love ever again …? a highly sensual lover who is too fat and out of shape to fuck….? … sad lazy angry bitter dressed and ready to catch the next big end of the world scenario in hopes she can die from natural causes….? …planning to live in a truck as a retirement plan….? …hiding in my postage stamp bedroom, thankful just to be safe and dry and warm….? …spending time planning a future of freedom and fun and practicing being here now….? … uncovering every stone in the universe and beyond to find out what the hell I am doing here...? …choosing a simpler way of life….? …laying off the beer and bacon switching to salad and fat free yogurt for awhile….?…peri-fucking-menopause, the beginning of the end of my bleeding whiny-ass sniveling youth….? 

Yep ME…the artist and singer and tour guide of really weird stuff and living silly adventures, a fine example of 'What Not To Do'....hoping to remind myself to not take life too seriously...
New strong beautiful fresh sprouts are springing up and out slowly on the outside and inside. 

Let the detox begin and may a giant purple acrylic vagina be erected somewhere forbidden in my honor - to represent "The Acrylic Years." 

The Art of Kitty Zen

“Diva” my sweet cat is 12 years old.  She is a long hair smoky black luxurious kitty with aqua blue/green eyes.  I had rescued her from an animal shelter with her late brother “Dude” whom I am calling late because we still don’t know what became of him.  That is a heart breaking sad story I’ll tell you another time.

Diva is my girl.  We are bonded for life.  She may be like a daughter to me in some ways, but mostly she has been my one truly loyal and trusted friend.  She has allergies, she has a strong personality and doesn’t like to be brushed or bathed and certainly lives up to her name.  She has lately developed big kitty dreadlocks in her fur and they are getting too much for her to handle anymore.  I have been looking for a veterinarian locally who may be able to sedate her and shave these off for us. 

Then it hit me, this sweet cat is the longest closest good relationship I have had in this lifetime, including both of my parents and my brother.  She and I have been through so much together, so many ups and downs, moves, PTSD, jobs, depression, and even being homeless for awhile.  Diva is the oldest pet I have had in my life.  She is smart as hell too.  I hear her in pictures in my head.  Animals do talk, it’s a lot like what Telepathy would be, I guess.  She understands me too.  We are connected in a really special way.

After Dude went missing, Diva fell completely apart.  I mean bad.  She started chewing off half of her body fur and just was depressed beyond repair.  We were both destroyed by his loss.  We ended up moving to a cool pad behind a great Art College in the Rockridge District of Oakland/Berkeley, CA and within the second week I rescued a small short hair black girly kitten and named her “Gidget” – She was a Girl and a Midget.  Diva was pleasantly distracted.  They have become soul sisters and very close friends.

As long as they are safe and happy, I am okay.  I must be honest and say, that there have been times that if it weren’t for my two girls, I may have not made it.  I have learned so much from them, mostly unconditional love and remembering to purr and let myself be in the moment and enjoy it, completely.  The art of kitty Zen…..my sweet little Angels with fur.  Thanks for taking such good care of me.

Hope for the future...

I have been tired, I mean deep down to the bone tired of living lifetime after lifetime coming back to a world where there is so much suffering and pain.  I had decided that the next time I die, I'm going to have a sit down chat with the Creator and say I want a long soul vacation. 
How many of you have had this same feeling?

I have done all the self help, deep meditational, medical psycho-medicational, and just about every new age "Try to feel better" thing on the planet to figure out why I feel like such crap and everyone around me too.  I started to dig and do research on what actually IS GOING ON in the this world to try to make some sense of it all.  I researched into all the ancient texts, religions, conspiracies, studies of human brain, psychology, sociology, economics, politics, futurist and predictive measures, magic, forbidden secret cabals, the human spirit, the earth, nature itself.... and have learned much about who we are and how we have been operating here on this 3rd dimensional space.

The why has puzzled me too.  I'm pretty sure it has to do with Love and Creating cool stuff and sub-categories of such love in infinite ways of expression.  Not everyone, but deep down I believe All living things want to thrive more then just survive.  I have concluded that what systems we have in place currently stink.  It's not about blaming or fearing who we put in charge to watch over us anymore.  There is no doubt that the system has been compromised and is being managed by a spirit of scarcity and greed.  We need to take a moment and look at what we are doing to ourselves, one another and to our home - our planet.

I got REALLY INSPIRED when I found this video interview with a futurist Jacque Fresco here... 

Then found The Venus Project here... (Lot's of great ideas and videos in the link)

Then found the newest of a series of mind opening 2011 videos Newest Here...

I suggest watching the Zeitgeist Original Video Series here... (They are long, controversial and mind openingly interesting)

When I watched these, I felt a new sense of hope and purpose.  I felt YOUNG and EXCITED about living again.  I take most things with a grain of salt, and I have lot's of questions, but I like the ideas and can see a future I would like to come back too.  Change, I imagine will be rough, but I believe Jacque makes perfect sense, and the truth that all human beings having there basic needs be met would certainly make this world a better place to live.

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO CHECK THESE IDEAS OUT!

Aleister Crowley - The Wickedest Douchbag In The World

Aleister Crowley was one of the pathetic power hungry narcissistic douchbags that ever lived. I think he was a rebel against religion in the beginning and then ended up experimenting with the dark side and was possessed by it completely.  Here is an interesting show if you want to learn more about who he was.

Mayan calendar’s actual beginning of the end date is October 28, 2011...

Hello 2011… ….What will you be bringing us this year? Is this the last year of our lives? Is October 28, 2011 the start of the end in the Mayan Calendar?

Let’s review the current list of possible scenarios on the table:

• We wake up one day and have new DNA and suddenly have use of the 90% of our brains that we weren’t using before?
• Solar Flare – Kill Shot?
• Planet X - Nibiru returns and shakes us up?
• Pole Shift?
• Ascension happens for the positive kind folks on the planet and we go into the next dimensions in spiritual development?
• Artificial Intelligence Singularity?
• The Mothership shows up and saves mankind by taking us to a safe place?
• CERN creates a black hole with the God Particle that implodes our universe?
• Electromagnetic Pulse, and society as we know it ends?
• Global Economic collapse – World Depression, we starve to death?
• Meteorite impact?
• I build a stealth cube van mobile condo and save a bunch of money living on the fringe?
• Earths Ozone Collapses and we fry?
• Major earthquakes that sinks the state of California into the Pacific?
• The Anti-Christ shows up and does his Satanic crap?
• The world is threatened by a false flag pandemic and mandatory vaccine injections are forced upon all containing Nano-chips to be used for mass control of the human race?
• Underground giants in hibernation chambers come back to life and destroy us?
• Mega tsunami?
• Alien hybrids rise up and defeat the manipulators behind the veil fucking with mankind?
• The Constitution of the US will be reinstated and tyranny will end?
• Extreme Climate change and global warming, bring a sudden Ice age?
• Friendly race of extraterrestrials will introduce themselves as nice neighbors and show us better ways to be?
• Nuclear war in Korea, then WW3?
• FREE ENERGY will no longer be suppressed and we will begin to ween ourselves off of fossil fuels?
• Locusts, sea turning to blood and "The Rapture" that Christians are expecting?
• Planet splits like an atom and shifts into other dimensions?
• Ecological disaster?
• Great love will sweep me away in a year of world travels and adventures with a fun smart ass goofy guy and we will make love in beautiful places?
• War on US Soil?
• It will be like Y2K, nothing much happens?
• World Domination of a dark cabal Reptilian race of aliens to make us their slaves?
• Oakland Raiders win the super bowl?
• Near Earth Supernova?
• Join a survival community and contribute in anyway I can to relieve the suffering of others and help survivors’?
• Super volcano erupting?
• Federal Reserve Bank will be audited and found guilty of fraud, murder and treason and collapses, we start over and live much simpler lives in small self sustaining communities?
• The hollow earth is discovered and we all meet our Creators inside?
• US disclosure finally happens and nobody is shocked?
• Aliens’ land on the White House lawn and punch the US President in the nards?
• HARRP turns to a certain frequency that activates the barium and aluminum oxide particles scattered from chemtrails on us and make us all Zombies?
• I move into a light industrial warehouse and turn it into a cool art studio loft home and sell really weird stuff online to make the world laugh out loud?
• Dolphins & Whales become the representatives for earth because they are far more advanced then Homo sapien sapiens?
• Anal probes for EVERYONE?
• I trust in my process and the Universe with an open heart and remember to be– LIVING EVERYDAY AS IF IT WHERE OUR LAST.

Who knows?  All I do know is, I love being here with you.

Tom Waits.....as Tré Waits....

As I walked down the long cold corridor of public storage units today, I could feel from each role up door, a sense of whose stuff was in each one…. I saw faces and movie/stories flash through my mind one by one. Older, younger, divorced, forclosure, children have left….all information flashing through my senses. As I approached my storage unit, I felt….. Stagnated, Put on hold, Revaluation of life’s direction…

Almost everything I own is in a dark hole in East Oakland waiting for me to…. Begin again.

I got the bed out and my printer today and there was the pot with my mothers ashes sitting there looking at me…and when I rolled the door back down I whispered…”Forgive me, but I always take the long way home.”

 Tom Waits.....as Tré Waits....


to wait: – verb (used without object)
1. to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens (often fol. by for, till, or until ): to wait for the bus to arrive.

2. (of things) to be available or in readiness: A letter is waiting for you.

3. to remain neglected for a time: a matter that can wait.

4. to postpone or delay something or to be postponed or delayed: We waited a week and then bought the house. Your vacation will have to wait until next month.

5. to look forward to eagerly: I'm just waiting for the day she will know what she wants and where to bury her sweet mothers remains and then find a great place to call home..

Larry the Squirrel goes to the Beach...

I’m in the middle of my Squirly Whirly 2.0 Artcar project and am packed and moving to live in a cute house on the ocean. I’m moving to Pacifica California to lay down some roots and soak up some positive water ions and good San Francisco fog. I’m ready to fall asleep to the sounds of the waves crashing near by and bring my 1973 VW Leopard Art Bar Car to the thirsty surfers out there. ..and… my new and improved daily driver Squirly Whirly version 2.0. Larry the Squirrel Lives my friends!

Larry the Squirrel  - The Story

A couple years ago I was minding my own business at Joanne’s Fabric store and saw there was a 75% off sale sign over in the corner…. I saw Gnomes… I sauntered closer to take a look. I have a thing for Gnomes; the only problem is they are all too perky and happy. I have been looking for an angry Gnome or at least a sarcastic wise ass Gnome for my collection. No luck (I’ll have to make some of my own) but behind the cheerful hairy little men was a portly large garden ornament Squirrel. I picked him up and he looked to me like…a guy whose name could be….Larry. Yes, Larry the Squirrel before we made to the check out line. He had a crack in him and they took off even more at the register.  The next day I fixed him up as good as new and decided to glue him as a hood ornament to my car.

Then a good Artcar friend Tom Kennedy died and I glued 450 tea lights to the car for his memorial, Candle Car…

The next season I replaced the tea lights with 650 Mylar pinwheels and a couple more Solar Squirrels to keep Larry Company. I debuted her in the Maker Faire 2009, named Squirly Whirly.

Shortly after, I stood in line all day at the San Francisco Opera costume sale, and ended up parking her overnight in The Haight Asbury where some tweeker street fuckers vandalized the car. Stole one of the solar squirrels and tried to tear Larry off the hood, but only cracked his tail half off. Poor Larry. He was messed up bad. 

This year Larry has 20 new squirrel friends and 18 big solar lights accompanied by 165 hand made recycled aluminum can art pinwheels that I have fiber glassed to the car. I will be showing her at the Artcar Fest 2010 grand opening of The Crocker Art Museum, Sacramento CA, with a huge number of other amazing art car artists from all over the western United States and Canada.

Here is Larrys New Look!  He almost has an Evel Knievel look don't he?

Look for him at the beach, he will be there soon!

 

   

Now, Feels Good....

I'm on unemployment and having a hard time with it.  At first, I was feeling apathetic; I was laying here judging myself for not making something important of my life. I started to feel like a failure. Then I asked myself, what do you want? I laid back and thought, I went into my core and contemplated this serious question.

I answered, Peace. I want to be Free and feel Peace. I just then realized that is exactly what I have Right Now…. Freedom….

And so, I let go
Let go of the judgement
and for a moment let myself just feel...Free,
and that brought me Peace
All through me.
I took a deep breath,
and Really let myself feel Peace
and stepped right into, Now.
I let it soak into me
Now Feels, Good.
I have it whenever I want it.

Tales of Diva Blubber...

I think I get it now, why I have packed on this EXTRA weight. It’s so I won’t get into a relationship. Yea, I have a herniated L3 lumbar and yea Weight Watchers is working for me, but why have I plateaued at this weight? It’s so I won’t let myself be swept away by torrid passion and unveiled to reveal my bare nakedness, the bone and flesh cage that surrounds my tender scar tissued heart. Yea, I see it now. I do have wolves at my door and all, but I ain’t taken no trips to granny’s house if ya know what I mean. Yes, I do feel skin hunger and romantically lonely and yes, I have dreams that resemble Good porno movies most mornings, but what gives?
*

I have been hanging around my unhappily married friends for too long. Seeing and witnessing their silent misery makes it easy to stay single. I do LOVE my FREEDOM too. Sure, I could saddle up with some cool depressed romantic guy bored out of his skull and make beautiful music together, but at what cost? Geez Tré, what happened? Yea, I’ve had my heart broken a few times, I grew from the experiences. Maybe I just don’t feel that I need a relationship to complete me anymore. The thing I kept falling in love with in “The One Types” was the very qualities I had disowned or hadn’t recognized in myself. Did you hear that? My pussy just cried out, “Bullshit, get a dick in here and stat!” Lonely dicks make me sad. Shut up down there. It’s true though, I do feel more whole then ever in my life. I am far from lonely.

*

I think I’m hibernating; hibernating under middle aged blubber. The lady under the blubber is a recovering perfectionist and has taken a vacation from dieting. The blubber is Really a disguise. I’m a hot 47 year old knock out bomb shell paying close attention to who actually can see Me under here. I can’t wait to hike the trail with no back pain. I miss skiing and I want to jump off that cliff in Pacifica with a parachute. I want to feel strong and safe be beautiful without all the unwanted attention. I am working on my heart in here too.  I think I need to come out for air.

Henhouse Letters...

Meet Miss Coco Le Vin

After lemon implants and photo shoot, she went into a tanning bed at 400 degrees for one hour.



Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken...


http://www.reallyweirdstuff.com/cocolevin.htm

Why?  There is an art show this weekend up in Sacramento, CA, dedicated to THE CHICKEN.  Everything chicken, eggs and cocks...  It's this Saturday, August 14th 6:00pm - 11:00pm@ The Sub Q, 714 K St. Sacramento, CA 95814 ~ There will be music, and yep...I'm singing about chickens, cocks...maybe bacon.

The Golden Ratio = 1.61803399, Timewave Zero & Naps...

Today felt like I was given this gift of unemployment/rest as a great thank you for service; a service of smiles, warm comfort food hugs and great music. I am so thankful for this time off right now.  I found it hard to get out of bed today, I really need some sleep. I have so much to do, so many fun things to accomplish with this free time, and I found myself wide awake in the dark of my bed room last night thinking about Timewave Zero Theory. Novelty it’s my life. When I compare myself to the western world and its culture, I sure have not been at home. I was born here, but I mean – I am so different compared to the left brained dominant society.  The way I have lived my life has been novel. I didn’t do what I was told, ever…pretty much.
*

I live every moment following my instincts. I always end up meeting the most interesting beautiful people doing something great in ways I could have not imagined using my monkey mind. Living open in the Now state of consciousness and practicing being here and in present time has been the greatest gift my life has given me so far. I guess not having a lot of expectations makes life full of wonderment and appreciation for beauty and novelty as it unfolds and as I create it. It’s emotionally and psychologically simpler. It is gentler on the soul overall.
*

I remember how amazed I was as an American woman visiting Aix en Provence in the south of France on holiday and watching them close all the businesses at noon for the afternoon break/siesta and thinking how astonishing that was, a whole culture stopping to sit down and rest for awhile. Americans don’t do that. That had a profound effect on me, plus I am a big fan of naps.  In my art, one theme and shape that has always shown up is the Golden Mean, a large spiral…. A swirl, be it spinning or not always is in all of my artistic self expressions. It vibrates different patterns by each different frequency and uncovers the hidden meme that is in all creation here in this third density. As if consciousness itself were creating itself with every emotion, swirling, turning, and rippling upward and also downward, are separating onward both directions into eternity of awareness’s. Whoa.

*

I think Terrence McKenna was an epic explorer for the human spirit. I think his Timewave Zero Theory is interesting, especially the way it seems to be mapping out profound human world events in a linear timeline. What had me staying in bed was the realization that according to the theory, the concentration of such events replicating history is being condensed within this very spiral of time. Not that time is speeding up, but that Novelty is, much more creation within a shorter amount of time. Look at nanotechnology and the advancements in science today. It is undeniable. The suppression of energy and health technologies will no longer be able to be held back. New thoughts and novelty are afoot my friends.
*

I just laid here today thinking about how intense it is to be alive during this pinnacle time in human history, and thankful that I get to have a front row seat during the immense change that is happening. It makes me want to kick Ray Kurzweil in the head. It feels like we are being squeezed through a big birth canal of conciousness.  I just hope it won’t hurt too much before it gets better, and if it does, I’ll be here in service; a service of smiles, warm comfort food hugs and great music to get you through it.  Watch these....

 

Invisible Ink

Every time I really cum

I mean cum like earth shattering orgasmic

over the top sing the star spangled banner CUM,

I cry….weep… and curse his name…..still, after all these years.

It is like his cock crept into my heart

and signed his name on it,

and the only way for me to get the memo

is to unabashedly strum a G major concerto on my “Clitar” until the truth be told.

He had me, much more then I knew.

You would think the magnitude of the blast would certainly clear the pathways connected from ones pussy to ones heart.

It’s been so long since I’ve opened mine in the presence of a well inked hard cock.

I think the next time if I'm lucky enough

to find myself in the presence of great love again

and have the nerve to open my heart completely in the heat of passion

I will take the time to read the fine print,

and appreciate what I have.

 

Wrong kind of Wet Spots

I still cry when I cum
Tears like grieving
For all of the wet spots
we will never make
Together.

32nd Annual St. Stupid's Day 2010 - Stupid Good Times!

The sign I made said, "Coalition for Silly Nun-Sense."  Best Stupid Thing I've done so far this year!  http://www.saintstupid.com/

For the writers out there.....

This was sent to me to today and I had to share it with you.  Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year for their amusement. 

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19PM, at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. (My personal favorite!)

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

How I started my first Art Car...

A few years back I had a beater faded Honda Civic hatchback I bought from my roommate’s hairdresser. She was one of those cool scary chicks that turned the back part of her house into a cheesy cool salon; she worked on mostly old blue haired ladies. I thought of that when I drove the old blue colored car away that day for $400.

Shortly after this, I was given a fake severed arm by my boss, Dr. Don Francis, leaving the company Halloween/His Birthday party from work one night. For fun I left it hanging out the back of the hatchback. It was funny, seeing some ridiculous human bloody rubber arm dangling there at a stop light. I would wait for the response from the car behind me…waiting to see if they noticed it. It was so out of place. Most the time they would smile and laugh, or shake there head at me when driving by. I loved that dead arm. I kept in on there for over two years. The arm out lasted the car. : )

I always wanted a VW Camper Bus, and had been doing more camping adventures and Lord knows I needed a better way to haul the sound system for my jazz gigs etc. I finally found an amazing deal on Craigslist, a 1973 Type 2 VW Camper Bus from Berkeley, CA in pretty ugly condition, but no rust and it ran great for $800.

It had some custom interior work done to it inside, but let me tell ya, it was funky, yet I could see the beauty even through the Deadhead stickers. All it needed was a little TLC and she could be amazing. I drove her away happy a hell. I had no idea what I was going to do to it. I’d come home from work and stare at it for hours. Dead arms lingered in my brain as I started cleaning her up. 

My jazz band is called Dangerous Martini; we do cocktail jazz and blues, bebop, swing and straight ahead jazz. One night it hit me, I’ve got to turn this into a Retro Cocktail Lounge! Visions of Leopard fur, martini glasses, and swanky atomic cocktail visions over took my common sense. I began a clandestine affair with the local hardware, fabric and art supply stores. I was shameless. What once was an idea became an obsession. Every night I would come home and work on her a little more in the dimly lit covered apartment garage in Emeryville, CA.

It was like I had to prove something to the world. That there was something beautiful behind that old funky lady from the early 70’s and I was going to uncover it. It was my daily driver to my corporate day job, when I cruised down the road I felt like she was saying “Wake Up – Take a Chance – Don’t be afraid to be different” to all the "Greige" (Grey-Beige) obedient conservative safe mundane cars out there that all look the same.  It seemed more important than just seeing the smiling faces in my rear view mirror.

She has been to many Art car events and parades. I would take naps in her on my lunch break. She was my secret escape pod, my safe refuge and trusted friend. She is a camper, a mobile bar, she is a lifestyle. I always had a cozy place to sleep and was ready to roll for many adventures at a moments notice, and we have.  Over the years she has had her health problems, she is what we diplomatic ladies refer to as “Vintage”. She has spent more times then I would like to mention on tow trucks, injured in dusty fringe towns and has even spent some time in jail. She is seasoned yet wise, but always warm, comfortable delicious and fabulous.

For the past couple years she has been house bound sitting pretty in the driveway. She has had some doctors poke around and clean her engine up a bit, but she needs a good man who knows what he’s doing. She was able to make it for Art car Fest 2009 and briefly was in a movie shoot before her last heart attack. We are seeking a new VW surgeon to help work out the bugs in her 1700 cc Porsche 914 high performance engine, preferably someone who also believes in the importance of cocktail camping and mobile art expression. 

She wields a power for freedom. She gives the world permission to be creative and funny and ridiculous in a beautiful way. I won’t give up on her, no matter what my friends say. The Leopard Lounge aka The Fahrvernpüssy Lounge will live on.

I encourage you to start your own Art Car. It's a liberating exciting fun experience. You meet the most interesting people everywhere you go.

Be it ever so illusive, there is no place like it.

My computer is back in the shop and I’m on a loner the housemates have loaned me until my exit, which is next week.  I’m still in search of, we all seem to continue to search for…. HOME.  Be it ever so illusive, there is NO PLACE like it. The job market here in the south bay area has dried up. Silicon Valley feels like it did back in 2001 when the dot com crash occurred, it’s time to go back to Oakland, back to where my stuff is still in storage. I have been paying $150.00 a month for two years. Living out of a suitcase, renting rooms isn’t easy when you have two kitties in tow. Sometimes I know they are the only thing keeping me from living in my car.

I’ve been pricing RV”s lately, interviewing artist friends and professionals who are self employed who successfully live in them and travel all over the country. Lusting after this ‘Jayco Seneca ZX Motor Home Class C - Toy hauler’ – An upscale RV with a garage is giving me ideas of becoming a vagabond gypsy for the last half of my life, living in some sort of artistic fashion. Toting my own ‘Green Room’ to my gigs, having a cozy place to stay is appealing. Home is not always where your stuff is, it's where your Whoo Whoo is.  :  )

The thought of buying a home that was built for someone else that is too close to other houses on some kind of grid is not appealing to me.  When I do decide to drop an anchor, it will be on some open land with lots of trees and sunshine.  Where I can build a creative mansion out of shipping containers on high ground and get completely off the grid.  The idea of working for 6 months and taking 6 months off is exciting. That is why I like doing contract work, but I am looking at how I can be successfully self employed working from my computer at home.

So it’s back to San Francisco for a high paying corporate contract gig, renting a room with a friend, saving every penny I can, paying back friends who have helped me and seeking some creative financing to start my rolling condo adventure, the payments on it will be my mortgage. Be it ever so illusive, there is no place like it where ever it may be.

Bill Hicks was right.

I found myself a few years back in the woods with 78 of my favorite people, playing great music, cooking yummy feasts, dancing like fools, drinking excellent home brews and this particular night I had, involved a nice size mushroom cap and stem.  The stars are extra bright up there because there are no city lights or street lights within miles. It was a warm safe beautiful night to become quiet and take an inner journey, so I did.

I walked back to my VW camper bus and laid on the bed with the back hatch wide open to the dazzling night sky.  When the psilocybe magic began to open my eyes I saw the stars smile at me and wink as if I was being watched over.  Suddenly the realization hit me,

I am creating everything that I am.  Every thought that I have - Is a thing.  Thoughts Are Things.  I choose what I want to experience.  All of it.  I AM actually infinite consciousness creating a five sense physical experience.  All matter IS merely energy condensed to a slow vibration; We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.  There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.  Bill Hicks was right.

Wow!  I felt my heart open and could smell the eatrh and the bay trees near by applaud me for remembering who I was. I looked back up at the stars and winked back like it was our special secret. They winked back at me.

Suddenly I felt a full heart of love for myself, for the first time in my life - it was so healing; I felt love and deep appreciation for myself as a person, as if all of the negative things I had ever believed about myself were erased and transformed.  I laid there sobbing tears of joy and happiness, relief and contentment.  It was so validating.  Then I started laughing my ass off…. Realizing…. Wow! I’m a middle aged artistic fun loving woman, lying in a VW art car Camper painted like a Leopard, tripping balls, in love with all of life and the universe. I like my choice! It was like the ultimate hug.

Four days later when I returned home from the trip, I quit my day job and made some huge changes in my life. That feeling has never left me.

Happy New Year World!

I hope this year brings you as much joy, freedom and laughter as you can withstand.

UFOs And Human Mutilations ~ Butch Witkowski

his Presentation by a 27 year veteran homicide detective should be given a ear. Butch Witkowski is a MUFON volunteer investigator. What he presented at the annual Pennsylvania Local MUFON conference on human bodies found mutilated like the cattle may shock you, but it deserves a listen.
Read: "UFOs And Human Mutilations" at UFO Media Matters http://ufomedia.blogspot.com

 Part 1 

Part 2

 

Part 3

 

Part 4

What are Artists?

I guess with most great artists comes a tortured soul of some sort. The REAL good ones are seasoned with broken hearts, shattered dreams and mental illness. If they don’t create or allow themselves the freedom of Self Expression, they end up lost or dead or worse, sucked onto the Hamster Wheel of Society, running for their lives like corporate slaves to the pre-designed culture… on the great wheel of death and taxes…debt, TV, mortgage, kids, spouse, Fear, family obligations, keeping a human contained and enslaved lifetime after lifetime.

The artist has the audacity to say NO to the system, they find a way to bring back what is missing, and that is The Spirit of us all. Artists remind us of why we ARE here on this planet after all, and what makes life so very much worth living. They live rocky lives so they can remind themselves, and along their self discovery, we find personal truths within their beauty of self expression.

I guess this is what my life is about right now. Being a torch singer can be hard on the heart. I just am tired of being so friggin tortured, maybe I need a break from singing such sad songs for awhile. Maybe “Longing” is getting boring for me. I’m feeling like adventure is afoot in my soul and I need to set sail for some new sort of living. Maybe become a gypsy for awhile and live in between the cracks. Become an observer of beauty and life for awhile.

Like a hidden butterfly on the wall of the world.

I'm Glad I'm Immature For My Age...

I walked by a window and saw myself today. It was the first time I stopped and saw a middle aged women in the reflection smiling back at me and I didn't look away, I just stood there and smiled. It felt weird because I'm still 22 inside.

I felt a lot better when I walked to my car...



I'm thankful to be alive.

Chinese New Year May Be Dangerous....

I don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but,

2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.

Has any one else noticed this? It gets worse, next year ......

2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?

Tom Kennedy Lives Forever In Us!

He died
on my comforting beach
my favorite secret escape
from the city
my kite flying childhood cherished beach
he must have felt the same love for those waves
for the sun
and how it would set so deliciously
on those perfect Sundays

He died on a day that signifies rising from the dead
Doing something he loved
He lives forever in us.

Tom Kennedy? ... Our Tom Kennedy?

Tom Kennedy... whose websites & videos I have posted all over Really Weird Stuff.Com for years, who I have had the biggest crush on for years, who has been one of the most inspiring political activists, artists, creative genius’s and adorable knuckleheads in the bay area went body surfing on Ocean Beach in San Francisco yesterday and drowned?

I really can't believe it is true, I'm still in shock. So young... I am so sick. We were just in an art car caravan in the Castro….this can't be true? http://www.sfexaminer.com/local/Ocean-Beach-drowning-victim-a-pillar-in-local-art-community-42935317.html